You Won’t Believe How Many Crypto Coins FTX Can’t Find—Now They’re Suing Everyone!

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Stop me if you’ve heard this one: a crypto exchange, two NFT companies, and $100 million in lost tokens walk into a bankruptcy court. Who’s buying lunch? Not FTX, that’s for sure—those guys are suing for table scraps at this point! 🍽️💸

FTX, which once lived large and now lives in legal filings, is back in the ring with NFT Stars Limited and Delysium. Apparently, these two decided to play hide-and-seek with digital assets—a game FTX is very tired of losing. After endless friendly emails (we’re assuming there was at least one emoji) and getting ghosted like someone’s Tinder date, FTX whipped out the big lawsuit guns. All because these companies forgot the number one rule: Don’t stiff your bankrupt business partners on their funny money tokens!

Token Allegations, or “Where’s My Crypto, Pal?”

The official story: way back in January 2022, Alameda Ventures (you know, before it turned into Maclaurin Investment—because fancy names win lawsuits, don’t you know?) dropped $1 million for 75 million AGI tokens from Delysium. Those coins were supposed to drip out like a slow faucet: 20% up front after 12 months, then a few more every quarter. Instead? Delysium changed the locks, moved the schedule to 48 months, and started feigning amnesia. Their excuse? “Oh, FTX, you’re in bankruptcy—whoopsie daisy!” Classic move.

NFT Stars didn’t want to miss out on the scandal either. FTX forked over $325,000 in November 2021 for 1.35 million SENATE tokens and a party-size pack of 135 million SIDUS tokens. A few made it out the door before everything blew up, but FTX claims 831,000 SENATE and 83 million SIDUS are still MIA. Maybe they’re sitting on a hard drive somewhere between “convenience” and “oops.”

The legal charge? Breach of contract, violation of the bankruptcy stay, and probably just being really annoying. FTX’s lawyers, surely exhausted and caffeine-addled, managed this zinger: “We urge token and coin issuers to return assets that rightfully belong to FTX…” Or else! “Our team continues to work tirelessly…” and likely wonders what happened to their careers. 🚑

Word on the street is, if these missing tokens don’t get home by curfew, more lawsuits are coming. FTX is talking to other token folks and sharpening their pencils as we speak. It’s like Oprah, but instead of free cars, everyone gets a subpoena.

Recovery Efforts: The Sequel

Meanwhile, in between lawsuits, FTX is doing their best impression of Robin Hood. On February 18, 2025, they started tossing breadcrumbs (aka cash) back at the creditors who lost their shirts. Claims under $50,000 got paid out first—call it the “Thank You for Your Patience” fund.

Next up is the May 30, 2025 carnival, with the record date on April 11. Classes 5, 6, and any other Class anyone can invent are invited—bring your paperwork and a sense of humor. Recoveries are projected at 119% (because who doesn’t love random extra percent in bankruptcy?) and some lucky ducks could get up to 140% in cold, hard cash. All thanks to a plan blessed by the court in October 2024, help from Justice Department caped crusaders, and a whole lot of luck. Estimated asset recovery haul? Somewhere between $14.7 billion and $16.5 billion. Give or take whatever fell into the couch cushions. 🛋️💰

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2025-04-30 00:44