OpenAI’s Worldcoin Gambit: Is Sam Altman About to Do Something Totally Unhinged?

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Coinbase, not wanting to be left out of the global game of “Who’s Got the Best Hype?”, is listing Worldcoin (WLD). This, naturally, has everyone convinced OpenAI will unleash a social media platform any day now, possibly involving more AI, more coins, and almost certainly more confusion. Sam Altman, professional future-wrangler, is promising a World project update at 7 PM PST in San Francisco, which is probably the exact moment your internet will stop working. 🕖

Both Worldcoin and OpenAI have recently developed a taste for “character-building setbacks.” Worldcoin, being the sort of project that asks, “What if we knew every human was human, but also exactly which human?”, fumbled privacy hurdles in the EU. Meanwhile, centralized AI keeps discovering that handing over the world to clever algorithms is expensive, unscalable, and—according to several accountants—bad for the bottom line. Now, the theory goes, a social media integration would serve as a magical loophole for all of this. And when has that ever backfired?

Will OpenAI Use Worldcoin for Social Media?

Worldcoin, humanity’s best argument for retina-scanning at the supermarket, has been sopping up attention thanks to these irresistible rumors. The instant Altman whispered “announcement”, internet sleuths and self-proclaimed ‘crypto anthropologists’ theorized it could mean OpenAI wants to be your next digital hangout—just with more bots and fewer humans who haven’t been verified by a small, presumably shiny orb.

Rumors continue to swirl that OpenAI will announce Worldcoin support in the US next week

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Still, don’t go mortgaging the ancestral potato farm just yet. The next big move is being held in suspense, awaiting Sam Altman’s speech—unless, of course, he announces a social platform exclusively for telepathic poodles, in which case all bets are off. Should OpenAI do the unthinkable and plug Worldcoin into its ecosystem, the resulting price impact may be strong enough to send shockwaves through several minor planets. 🌍🚀

If nothing else, Altman has proven masterful at keeping investors wide awake at night. The rest of the central-AI universe has been drained by costs that make even Microsoft clutch its pearls. Microsoft’s recent retreat from global data centers has people whispering that OpenAI may not actually be printing money in its basement after all. 😮

Meanwhile, Worldcoin’s lawyers have developed an ironic squint after endless legal gauntlets. Today’s announcement, if it happens, would adroitly sidestep both existential doom and regulatory migraines—at least long enough to sell some commemorative T-shirts.

“Whether you love him or hate him, I think Sam Altman is a pretty genius product guy. People have been declaring OpenAI dead for a while and it keeps chugging. [Worldcoin integration] is an interesting speculation play, and [WLD] will very likely be the most prominent AI token,” DCInvestor stated.

Of course, all this could turn out to be the world’s most sophisticated “just kidding.” Barring the sudden emergence of concrete facts, the existence of a WLD-powered OpenAI social playground hinges on what Sam Altman decides to say—or not say—tonight. Either way, tune in for what’s sure to be another episode of “How Many Rumors Fit Into One Crypto Market?”

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2025-04-30 20:58