So, imagine you’re Charles Hoskinson, innocent crypto nerd, just peacocking about your regular autumn conference in Jackson Hole, and suddenly, you’re down the rabbit hole into Trumpworld. Retroactively regretting not bringing more sensible shoes.
Hoskinson, usually the man to talk about blockchain forks and mathematical proofs, has now been forced to clarify—while live-streaming from Colorado, of course—what went down (or didn’t) at what insiders dubbed the great Mar-a-Lago ‘Diet Coke’ mystery dinner. Apparently, it all began last autumn with long chats about crypto policy roles. Exciting stuff if you find proposed “Crypto Czars” thrilling, or you just like saying “czar.”
Crypto Dreams Crushed: Cardano Founder Ghosted From the Cool Kids’ Table
Despite prepping for his grand ascent to “Crypto Czar” (complete with briefing books, one imagines, and probably at least one tie that wasn’t a meme), triumph was snatched away! Trump won, but the top job went elsewhere. Apparently, nobody told Charles there’d been a plot twist, and David Sacks turned up with more hats than a Royal wedding (Crypto AND AI—multitasking icon).
Amid “mixed messages”—i.e., everyone acting like teenagers planning a group project—he got invited to a swanky Mar-a-Lago dinner only for the date to be rescheduled because Trump was busy with Zelenskyy. Charles, on-brand, did his homework (hundreds of documents, surely colour coded) and, while on the plane to Florida, got that worst-of-all-texts: “Hey, uh, so you’ve actually been, erm, disinvited. Sorry lol.”
But our hero soldiered on, kept his meetings, tried to find out why he’d been dumped. Nothing. Not even a breakup playlist.
Plot twist: All fingers pointed at lobbyist Brian Ballard (allegedly!) and an accidental (on-purpose?) Trump post on Truth Social, rattling on about ADA, XRP, and SOL being the cornerstone of America’s shiny new “crypto reserve.” Charles nearly spat out his actual Diet Coke.
He insists he’s a one-Bitcoin kind of guy (no poly-crypto relationships, thank you very much)—but suddenly, everyone thinks ADA’s taking over the world. New tech advisor David Sacks reportedly lost his mind about this, which you know is serious because it made Politico.
As for dinner table intrigue, Hoskinson now thinks someone feared he’d spoil the multi-asset party by loudly declaring, “Excuse me, only Bitcoin allowed!” I mean, imagine the scandal: a man with opinions at a political dinner. Gasp.
For the record, his offhand social-media joke about not wanting to pay a $5 million cover charge (as one does) was wielded as an “official” reason to banish him. Charles, living proof sarcasm doesn’t translate over email.
Meanwhile, the White House spun up its own yarn, briefing a journalist that Charles had never been invited (cue big “gotcha!” as Charles screen-shared his literal Mar-a-Lago invitation—shiny embossing and all). “A great, highly credible organisation,” he quipped, raising an eyebrow so high it almost launched an NFT.
To be clear, Charles isn’t mad at Trump or his offspring (he’s even done panels with Don Jr.—yes, really). He saves his grievances for Beltway bureaucrats and whatever species of reptile populates the Washington ‘serpentine’ lobbying scene. Apparently, in D.C., it’s all backstabbing and bat— crazy, like Game of Thrones but everyone wears less cool armor.
But there’s hope! Solid legislation (the Genius Act, new market-structure talks) is gathering like storm clouds—except, you know, positive. At least over steak dinners, politicians speak directly, especially if dessert is imminent.
The moral? Politics is “distasteful,” “serpentine,” and a bit like his quick lesson to all viewers: “Welcome to politics. It’s distasteful. It’s serpentine. But the truth always comes out.” Preferably live-streamed with snack breaks.
At last check, Cardano was trading at $0.7773. Somewhere, somebody’s still sipping a Diet Coke and wondering why they didn’t just order water.
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2025-05-09 21:59