“Rich Crypto Investors Are Buying Treasuries on Blockchain and You Can’t Join”

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If you thought magical digital money was confusing, wait until money itself starts casting spells. VanEck and Securitize, possibly after drawing the short straw, have unleashed VBILL—a tokenized fund that lets you taste the throbbing excitement of short-term US Treasury investments. All gloriously on-chain, provided your chain of bank accounts has at least $100,000 jangling about (or a positively indecent $1 million if you’re feeling Ethereum-ish). Public blockchains used: Avalanche, BNB Chain, Ethereum, Solana. Hidden blockchain used: envy. 🏦✨

Tired of investing like a mere mortal? Got way too much money and not enough excitement? Good news! VanEck has delivered an on-ramp for the crypto-rich to swerve into Treasuries, while everyone else remains parked in life’s slow lane. 🚏

VanEck Slaps a “Tokenized” Sticker on Treasuries, Declares It Progress

VanEck, famous for Bitcoin ETFs and thinking outside the regulatory box (sometimes by ignoring the box entirely), is at it again. Suggestions from recent brainstorming sessions included “Bitcoin-linked bonds to manage US debt,” “Turn NFTs into Tax Credits,” and probably “Legalize wizard hats at board meetings.”

Today’s adventure: VBILL—think of it as US Treasury exposure with much shinier buzzwords. Now you can blockchain your way to government debt, which is, frankly, the most Discworld sort of move imaginable.

“By bringing US Treasuries on-chain, we are providing investors with a secure, transparent, and liquid tool for cash management, further integrating digital assets into mainstream financial markets. Tokenized funds like VBILL are… underscoring our commitment to providing value to our investors,” said Kyle DaCruz, who probably keeps his wallet on a ledger stone and his business cards in a minor pentagram.

So now, if you’re one of VanEck’s exalted clients, you swipe right on Treasuries—digitally, cryptographically, and possibly while wearing a monocle. Avalanche, BNB Chain, Ethereum, Solana: pick your chain, but don’t forget the Wormhole, which is either a high-tech protocol or something wizards accidentally spill tea into. 🪱☕

Securitize—a name that, in true Discworld fashion, soundly describes its purpose—will handle everything except the existential irony. That means broker-dealer duties, fund administration, and possibly ensuring the blockchain doesn’t leave dirty footprints on the regulatory carpet.

Buying into VBILL on Avalanche, BNB Chain, or Solana? You’ll need a modest $100,000. Ethereum? Sorry, that’ll be $1 million, because sometimes the chain itself gets ideas above its station. Welcome to investing at Hogwarts for Accountants.

But before retail investors get too excited… they’re locked out. Completely. The “experiment” in tokenized Treasuries is for qualified and institutional buyers only. Sorry, common folk—no oranges in this fruit basket.

US Treasury bonds are suddenly sexy in the crypto world, partly because new stablecoin rules want every issuer to tuck a few Treasuries under their Etherscan pillow. Tether alone has recently bought nearly $100 billion-worth—enough to form a cozy nation-state, if it could find a sensible flag emoji. 🏳️‍🌈

So, the stablecoin crowd must handle Treasuries themselves; tokenized ones like VBILL are just stage décor in their monetary theatre. Still, the industry’s gone from “Treasuries are boring” to “Tether’s US reserves could outbid small countries for lunch.” VanEck’s latest launch, for those who can afford it, is like giving billionaires a new button to press. After all, no one likes missing out on an arcane financial ritual—right?

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2025-05-13 22:24