“Alright, alright, we’re going to let you buy it,” Dimon sighed, probably after some serious eye-rolling. “But we’re not babysitting it. We’ll just slap it on your statement and call it a day.”
So, JPMorgan isn’t exactly becoming your friendly neighborhood crypto-wallet. But hey, listing Bitcoin on client statements is basically the financial equivalent of saying, “Look, we’ve seen the future, and it’s… weird.”
Dimon: Still Doubting, Because Why Not?
Even though JPMorgan has given the green light to crypto (sort of), Dimon remains the eternal skeptic. In fact, he’s been giving Bitcoin a side-eye so intense that it could melt a hole through your screen.
He warned about Bitcoin’s less-than-angelic activities: “Money laundering, sex trafficking, terrorism…” he listed, as if Bitcoin itself were a criminal mastermind in a spy novel. “But, y’know, people have a right to do dodgy stuff if they really, really want to,” he shrugged. “I don’t think you should smoke, but I’ll defend your right to do it. Same with Bitcoin.”
Wall Street: Finally Warming to Bitcoin (Sort Of)
JPMorgan’s about-face comes on the heels of their rivals, like Morgan Stanley, who’ve been letting their clients dip their toes into Bitcoin ETFs. Last year. So, Wall Street’s really starting to show it’s open to Bitcoin… when it’s convenient for them, of course.
This whole thing just goes to show that investor demand has the power to make even the most stubbornly traditional bankers squirm their way into the digital age. Dimon might still think crypto is a passing fad, but Wall Street’s at least letting the curious have a little playtime with it.
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2025-05-20 00:38