Bitcoin Mining: The U.S. Government’s Newest Hobby? 😂💰

LAS VEGAS, Nevada — So, Fred Thiel, the big cheese at Marathon Digital Holdings (MARA), has a *brilliant* idea for how the U.S. can finally get its act together and build that strategic bitcoin reserve everyone keeps talking about. Spoiler alert: it involves mining. Shocking, right? 🙄

During a panel at Bitcoin 2025 in Las Vegas (because where else would you discuss digital currency?), Thiel suggested that the U.S. government could generate bitcoin in a way that’s totally budget-friendly. You know, like using all that excess hydroenergy just lying around. Because who doesn’t want to mine bitcoin while saving the planet? 🌍

But here’s the kicker: it’s been almost three months since Trump waved his magic wand and said, “Let there be a strategic bitcoin reserve!” and yet, we’re still waiting for the government to figure out how to fill it. Cue the collective sigh of frustration from the conference attendees. 😩

“I think it’s critical,” Thiel said, sounding like a parent trying to get their kid to clean their room. “The U.S. making a statement that we’re going to have a strategic reserve is an empty statement unless you start putting stuff into it.” Well, duh! 🙃

Right now, the reserve is supposed to hold all the bitcoin the government has seized in civil and criminal forfeitures — which is about 200,000 bitcoins. But wait, there’s more! Sen. Cynthia Lummis (R-Wyo.) thinks this is just the beginning. She’s got plans for bigger and better acquisitions. Because why not? Let’s just go all in! 💸

In March, Lummis reintroduced the BITCOIN Act of 2025, which is basically a fancy way of saying, “Let’s make this bitcoin reserve a thing.” After getting all the forfeited bitcoin in there, she wants the government to spend the next two to five years converting some of its gold certificates into bitcoin. Because who needs gold when you can have digital currency, right? 🤑

“We have enough assets in underperforming assets that we can get five percent of the world’s bitcoin without spending a single dime,” Lummis said. Sounds like a steal! But, let’s be real, it’s probably going to be a while before Congress gets around to this. They’re too busy figuring out stablecoin and market structure legislation. Priorities, people! 🙈

“It’s going to be a heavier lift than I thought because so many people don’t understand bitcoin,” Lummis admitted. Well, that’s the understatement of the year! 🤷‍♀️

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2025-05-27 21:30