Bitcoin Stuck in the Mud as Trump Yells at Powell Again!

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Old Donald, the man with hair more rebellious than Wall Street, has taken to criticizing Jerome Powell like a disgruntled chef yelling at his sous-chef. The President’s Twitter (or Truth Social, to be precise) is ablaze with calls for rate cuts, as if free money grows on trees—though apparently not for jobs or markets! 😂

BTC Flops Around While Trump’s Rant Keeps the Markets Guessing

The Federal Reserve, playing hard to get, keeps interest rates steady at 4.25% to 4.5%, cursing inflation like a bad joke—“Somewhat elevated,” they say, as if inflation is just a little buzz, not a monster gnawing at our wallets. Meanwhile, Trump, the king of “Tell ’em I told you so,” screams for a rate cut that’s as unlikely as a unicorn in a hedge fund. “ADP NUMBER OUT!!! ‘Too Late’ Powell must now LOWER THE RATE,” he announces like a man who’s missed his bus and is mad about it. Europe’s lowered NINE times, and here we are standing still, wishing for free candy. 🍬

As if the world isn’t confusing enough, ADP reports only 37,000 jobs created in May—less than a slow walk down the block. Bitcoin, that stubborn digital gold, just bobbled around $105K shade, as if saying, “I’m bored of this too.” Stocks, however, decided to play the game and nudged upward by tiny fractions. CNBC reports, “Look at us go!” 🎉

(U.S. private sector jobs, or lack thereof, in May—only 37,000. Big whoop.)

“After a roaring start, hiring’s slipped into a lull,” sighed ADP’s chief economist, Dr. Nela Richardson, probably rolling her eyes. “Paychecks, on the other hand, are playing musical chairs.”

Market Metrics in all their glory and despair

Bitcoin dipped a wimpy 0.70%, trading around $105,234.99—like a cat that’s lost interest in the shiny toy. Over the week, it lost 2.08%, stuck in a narrow corridor like a lost tourist in a mall. The broader crypto universe did the same, sulking down roughly 0.72%, as if it’s all just a bad dream. Coinmarketcap confirmed this gloomy sentiment.

(Bitcoin’s price dance / Trading View, or the market’s mood swinging wildly just for fun)

Trading volume shrank 6.15% to $44.48 billion; apparently, traders got tired of the rollercoaster. Bitcoin’s market cap shrank by 0.82%—maybe it’s feeling shy—and dominance took a tiny hike, up by 0.16%, like a proud rooster. Futures trading shrank by 2.02%, because betting on a hamster race isn’t exactly a winning strategy anymore.

(BTC dominance holding fashionable but fragile—just like today’s optimism)

The liquidation circus was surprisingly dull—only $62,970 vaporized in the last 24 hours. Of that, bulls lost $56,780, which must hurt more than a bad haircut, while shorts only got a tiny slap of $6,190. Bulls, always blindly optimistic, keep losing, as if markets are a game of hide and seek with their money.

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2025-06-04 21:57