Crypto Circus: Metaplanet Loses $680M in Bitcoin, Still Buying Like Crazy!

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Crypto Circus: Metaplanet Loses $680M in Bitcoin, Still Buying Like Crazy!

Well folks, it’s the crypto rollercoaster again! Metaplanet takes a big ol’ paper hit of $680 million in 2025-sounds like a lot, but don’t worry, your favorite Japanese juggernaut is still buying Bitcoin like it’s on sale after a riotous holiday party.

Last year, the crypto market swung harder than a drunken acrobat on a unicycle, and Metaplanet’s balance sheet got a good shake. But hold your horses! This is just on paper stuff-no cash went flying out the door. They’re not crying into their Bitcoin pillows just yet. Nope, they’re still front and center, swinging for the fences with their eyes on the prize of higher revenue in 2026. Because nothing says “solid financial planning” like gambling in a casino where the dealer is blindfolded.

Bitcoin Gets a Kick in the Pants, Metaplanet’s Books Get a Walloping!

Metaplanet reported a loss of a mere 104.6 billion yen (that’s about $680 million for you dollar folks) thanks to Bitcoin tanking faster than a rock star at a vending machine. The market’s decline hit their holdings like a pie in the face, but don’t panic! It’s all just accounting magic-no actual money lost, just numbers dancing on a computer screen.

The company’s Monday filings, which are basically their “look Grandma, no hands” report card, say that this loss was outside their normal operations and didn’t require any cash to be handed over. Their business still chugs along like a well-oiled banana peeler, funding and all.

Looking ahead to 2025, Metaplanet predicts they’ll take an extra big hit-about 98.56 billion yen in operating losses and 76.63 billion in net losses. Shareholders? Expect a neat little hit of roughly 54 billion yen. It’s like losing your car keys, but the car’s still parked and you’re still drinking juice.

Reality Check: Full-Year Outlook for 2025, Bitcoin’s Impairment, and a Peek at 2026’s Crystal Ball

– Metaplanet Inc. (@Metaplanet)

Meanwhile, in the world of currency gymnastics, Metaplanet keeps converting yen into U.S. dollars faster than a magician pulling rabbits. When the yen weakens, their USD assets grow like beanstalks-thanks to “translation adjustments”-sounds fancy, right? It’s basically like a financial magic trick where gains and losses cancel each other out, leaving everyone’s heads spinning.

In the end, the net effect? A loss of about 82 billion yen in Bitcoin value after all the accounting kabuki. But who cares? As long as they keep buying Bitcoin like it’s going out of style, right?

Metaplanet Dreams of Big Bucks But Won’t Say How Much

As of December 31, 2025, the company is sitting on about 35,000 BTC-party like it’s 2017! But here’s the kicker: they don’t dare predict how much money they’ll actually make, because the market’s more unpredictable than your Uncle Morty’s dance moves. So, forget profit forecasts-just enjoy the rollercoaster!

But wait-despite the big paper losses, Metaplanet’s still throwing cash into Bitcoin. While others start hiding under their desks, these guys are buying more! It’s like pouring expensive wine into a sinking ship, but hey, at least they’re optimistic-or maybe just a little crazy.

They say they might make about 16 billion yen in revenue-roughly 80% jump from last year-mainly from Bitcoin, of course. Their hotel business? Still chugging along. But net income? Sorry folks, they’re keeping tight-lipped-probably because the assets are as unpredictable as your cousin Louie after too much spaghetti.

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2026-01-26 20:23