Ah, the grand spectacle of capitalism’s circus! Michael Saylor, the self-proclaimed oracle of Bitcoin, has finally tasted the bitter fruit of his own arrogance. As the crypto market crumbled like a stale bread crust, his firm, Strategy, reported a staggering $17.4 billion loss in Q4 2025. The earnings call on February 5th was less a financial report and more a tragic opera, complete with wails of unrealized losses.
According to the firm’s own lamentations, the entire loss was a “paper cut”-unrealized, of course, because who actually sells when the ship is sinking? The report whined:
“Operating loss for the fourth quarter of 2025 includes an unrealized loss on the Company’s digital assets of $17.4 billion. This is the fourth quarterly reporting period in which we have applied fair value accounting.”
Fair value? More like fairy tale. After adjusting for other financial band-aids, the net loss settled at $12.4 billion. A mere trifle, no doubt, for a man who once claimed Bitcoin was the future of humanity.
The Bitcoin Bet: A Tale of Greed and Gravity
Saylor, the pioneer of corporate BTC hoarding, amassed 713,502 coins at a cost of over $54 billion, averaging $76k per BTC. A bold move, one might say, until the market decided to remind him that gravity applies to cryptocurrencies too. As BTC plummeted below $65k, Strategy’s stash shriveled to $46.2 billion-a $8 billion wipeout, or as I like to call it, a “learning experience.”
The mNAV, that fancy metric of relative valuation, dropped to 0.77x, a clear sign that even the numbers are rolling their eyes. And let’s not forget MSTR, the stock that once soared like an eagle but now flutters like a wounded pigeon.
MSTR: From Peak to Pitiful
On Thursday, MSTR took a nosedive, dropping 17% post-earnings call. Since its 2025 high of $453, it’s down 76%. Zoom out to the November 2025 peak of $543, and the losses balloon to 80%. A true masterpiece of financial self-destruction.
The real victims? U.S. pension funds, who poured $577 million into MSTR shares, only to watch them shrink to $240 million. A $330 million paper loss-because nothing says “retirement security” like betting on volatile assets. At press time, MSTR was back to its 2024 price range of $100-$180, clinging to life like a barnacle on a sinking ship.
Enter Peter Schiff, the perennial BTC skeptic, who gleefully labeled Strategy a “fraud” and a “ponzi scheme.” His critique? The firm’s capital-raising model for BTC buys. Shocking, I know, that someone would question a strategy built on borrowing to buy a volatile asset. Schiff, ever the opportunist, has made a career of dancing on Bitcoin’s grave-though one wonders if he’s just bitter he didn’t get in early.
The Moral of the Story
- Strategy’s $17.4 billion loss in Q4 is a testament to the folly of blind faith in Bitcoin. Unrealized PnL? More like unrealized hubris.
- MSTR’s 80% plunge is a reminder that markets have a way of humbling even the most arrogant of investors.
In the end, Saylor’s saga is not just a financial cautionary tale but a comedy of errors. As the crypto circus continues, one can’t help but wonder: will he double down, or will reality finally sink in? Either way, the popcorn is free, and the show is priceless.
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2026-02-06 14:17