BitMine’s ETH Frenzy: $98M Splurge, $8B Loss – Now Staking for Survival!

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Finance

What to know, dear reader, with a dash of sarcasm and a spoonful of despair:

  • BitMine Immersion Technologies has, with commendable enthusiasm, purchased 51,162 ether this week-roughly $98 million at today’s prices. A veritable bargain, one might say, if only the market agreed.
  • Their Ethereum treasury, now swollen to 4.42 million tokens (3.66% of the supply), was built with an estimated $16.4 billion. Alas, it’s now worth half that, leaving them with a delightful $8 billion in losses. A masterclass in fiscal misadventure!
  • Meanwhile, they’re generating $171 million annually via staking. One wonders if the interest alone could cover the cost of a decent financial advisor.

Last week’s purchase brought their total holdings to 4.42 million ether. They also own 193 bitcoin, $691 million in cash, and have stakes in Beast Industries ($200 million) and Eightco Holdings. Truly, a diversified portfolio-assuming one counts “losses” as a category.

Their staking revenue, at $171 million annually, is a silver lining-or perhaps a glimmer of hope in a sea of red ink. BMNR shares, however, are down 2% pre-market and 60% in six months. A rollercoaster, darling, but not the thrilling kind.

Ethereum’s price, now $1,918 after a 3% drop in 24 hours, has turned BitMine’s treasury into a $8 billion “investment.” Chairman Thomas Lee, ever the optimist, remarked: “In this ‘mini crypto winter,’ we focus on our treasury strategy.” One suspects the strategy involves buying more ETH, because why not?

And there you have it-a tale of ambition, optimism, and the cruel whims of the market. All in the spirit of Noël Coward, who would surely have sipped a martini and chuckled.

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2026-02-23 17:48