Anaconda Review: A Snake-like Light Skewering of the Hollywood Ouroboros

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Hollywood now relies so heavily on revisiting old ideas that it feels self-referential, with movies and shows openly commenting on the fact they’re reboots or sequels – like the recent Scream films or The Studio. It’s not enough to just remake things; filmmakers now feel the need to acknowledge that they’re remaking them, almost as if apologizing for it. It all feels driven by profit. Studio executives seem to be saying, “We know this feels unoriginal, but we have to do it.” After the expected success of Wicked: For Good, Universal’s marketing chief even suggested they have a “responsibility” to continue the story – which is really just code for “this will be incredibly profitable.” Despite the talent of Cynthia Erivo and Ariana Grande, the Wicked franchise isn’t public service; it’s a business.

This movie represents a cyclical moment for Hollywood, constantly revisiting its own past. Director Tom Gormican, who previously explored Hollywood’s self-obsession in The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent, seems content with any story that allows him to do so. While not a direct remake of the 1997 Anaconda, it’s a rather tame satire of the film industry—an industry that wouldn’t even find it strange to remake itself. Despite being funny and unexpectedly charming, the movie ultimately lacks substance, much like the snake it features. Anaconda tries to capture the spirit of Bowfinger for a modern audience, but ends up feeling as bland as the original film it’s inspired by. It’s aimed at viewers who fondly remember classic blockbusters and are annoyed by studio executives exploiting familiar material without understanding it.

In a refreshing contrast to the often-artificial content generated by AI, Gormican and Kevin Etten focus on a group of endearing underdogs who genuinely love cheesy movies. Doug McCallister (Jack Black), a sweet-hearted wedding videographer, is a true amateur – he makes films purely for the joy of it. The fact that Doug and his best friend, Griff (Paul Rudd), a charmingly bad actor, choose Anaconda as the movie they’ll pour their hearts and souls into is wonderfully, hilariously absurd.

Griff returns to Buffalo for a surprise party for their friend Doug, where he catches up with Claire and Kenny. He brings two things: the last copy of a silly monster movie they made as kids, called The ‘Quatch, and exciting news that he’s obtained the rights to Anaconda. Griff isn’t doing well in Los Angeles, Kenny just lost his job, and Claire is recently divorced, so Griff proposes a crazy idea: they all travel to Brazil and make a low-budget remake of Anaconda. He’s not sure if it’s a sequel or a new version, but they’re determined to make it happen.

Gormican quickly gets to the important parts of the story, which is good, but the writing feels rushed and disorganized, making it hard to follow. The way Griff obtains the rights to the project is handled too quickly – the other characters would realistically question how he got them, but they don’t get the chance. It’s also a shame that Newton, a potentially interesting character, is limited to being divorced and unhappy. Doug is quickly set up as a film fanatic, so it’s surprising he’s the only one initially hesitant about going to Brazil, though his wife, Malie (Ione Skye), eventually convinces him. Unfortunately, Malie’s role doesn’t offer much depth either.

The crew finally makes it to Brazil and quickly encounters Ana (Daniela Melchior), a resourceful adventurer who seems to be fleeing from dangerous pursuers. They soon discover she’s stolen the houseboat they rented, using it as a means of escape. The film offers very little information about Ana – her reasons for running, or who she’s running from – until much later. Throughout the movie, the female characters, including Ana, Skye, and Newton, largely exist to assist the men. While Melchior gets a chance to showcase her action skills when Ana’s backstory is revealed, her motivations remain unclear even after everything is explained.

Okay, let me tell you, Zahn is a standout in this cast. He’s basically playing a down-on-his-luck version of that character he did on The White Lotus, and it’s brilliant. He’s clumsy, a little sad, incredibly loyal, and his facial expressions alone are consistently hilarious – seriously, that half-smile and perpetually tense neck are gold. Gormican does a great job grounding Black’s usually over-the-top energy, and Paul Rudd…well, he’s Paul Rudd – charming and funny, though he feels a little overshadowed here. My biggest issue? Some of the humor falls flat. There’s this running gag about him being unable to use a public restroom that just gets tiresome after a while.

Selton Mello, known for his serious role in Walter Salles’ I’m Still Here, doesn’t quite land the comedic timing needed for this film. He plays the crew’s snake handler as a bit of a fool, but his naturally stoic demeanor clashes with the movie’s lighter tone. While not entirely the actor’s fault – the script is inconsistent – the film struggles to make his dedication to his pet snake humorous. It’s hard to see the joke in loving an animal, even if his character takes it to an unusual degree.

It’s amusing to watch a struggling film crew attempt to create a decent big-budget horror movie, and the film generally succeeds at what it sets out to do. The movie cleverly satirizes the trend of relying on established franchises, with a running joke about the desperate need for meaningful “themes” – like climate change, grief, or family trauma. One character enthusiastically embraces the idea of exploring generational trauma, while another confidently predicts the film could be award-worthy if marketed correctly, even comparing the director to Jordan Peele. Ultimately, the movie subtly criticizes the film industry’s tendency to aim for grand artistic statements while delivering something less substantial.

Despite seeming a little cheesy, the movie Anaconda is ultimately about the joy of creating something with close friends. It might make some people cringe, but when the film truly connects, it reminds us to rediscover the fun in our work, especially when we’ve become too focused on the financial side of things.

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2025-12-23 20:09