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The coming days promise a pantomime of hope and despair. Will Solana reclaim its lost glory, or will it succumb to the gravitational pull of zero? Only time—and perhaps a few well-timed memes—will tell.

Hyperliquid (HYPE) is dancing around at $44 as we speak, eking out a 2% gain in the last 24 hours and a cheeky 4% over the week—because who doesn’t love a small victory? Trading volume sky-high at $419 million, making it the kind of day that makes traders ripple with excitement.

While the broader market is having a midday snooze, PENGU is maintaining its solid uptrend. The daily candle might suggest a bit of a yawn, but as long as the price stays above the $0.028 demand zone, the structure remains bullish. This area has already acted as a key breakout and retest level, so if the price dips, it’s likely just loading up for another jump. 🚀

Check out this chart, courtesy of Alpha Crypto Signal, showing SEI doing its best impression of a bouncing ball—off the bottom support at about $0.31. Since June, that’s been the Support Superhero, right in line with the 9-EMA—talk about a supportive crowd. 🎤🕺

In a spirited chat on that scintillating daily bazaar of hot air, CNBC’s Squawk Box, the Republican not only warns but practically threatens the next president with a mountain of debt looming ever-so-menacingly over their head, ready to rain down chaos like a monsoon during a picnic. It seems our national borrowing has taken an Olympic leap, soaring high enough to make any acrobat jealous – over $519 billion just between July 3rd and July 28th! The grand total? A comically staggering $36.8 trillion. 🎈

In total, these treasure hoarders are sitting on roughly 791,662 BTC (because who doesn’t want to be nearly 800,000 Bitcoin richer?) and 1,313,318 ETH, which is about 3.98% of all the Bitcoin in existence—roughly enough to make a tiny island—or at least a big city. Ethereum fans are a little more modest, holding about 1.09% of Ethereum’s circulating supply, which is probably enough to get you a decent coffee or a reasonably priced yacht.

The Byzantine General’s latest chart, a labyrinthine masterpiece, now points to a potential shift in Hyperliquid’s lower timeframe structure—a confirmed higher low. Technically, this is the first constructive sign in ages, with price coiling beneath descending trendline resistance. The setup resembles the early stages of a rounded bottom or even a possible inverse head and shoulders, if the cosmos conspires. 🐍📈

Enter the grand arena: The Financial Services Agency (FSA) held its inaugural Crypto Assets Working Group meeting on July 31, where the real drama unfolded. The plot? Reclassifying crypto assets, because calling them mere payment tools is so last season; now they’re “investment products,” darling. 🎬

Optimism—no, not the one that makes you smile—just OP—has been flirting with a descending channel for nearly nine months, clearly telling us it’s got abandonment issues. The chart shows a mountain of lower highs and lower lows, like a very gloomy roller coaster ride.