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Now, this “active address” business is like countin’ the number of folks dancin’ at a hoedown. It gives you a pretty good idea of how lively the party is. But in this case, the fiddle’s gone silent, and the dance floor’s lookin’ mighty empty.

Gone are the days, dear readers, when the exuberance of early March had endowed these ETFs with the vigor of a county ball. What now remains are modest flows, more akin to quiet garden strolls than grand promenades. One could almost hear the hiss of a refined socialite’s parasol as the numbers decline.

Recall, if you will, the hubris of last Wednesday, when Bitcoin, emboldened by the chaos of war, ascended to $76,000. Yet, like Icarus, it flew too close to the sun, only to be brought low by the Federal Reserve’s stubborn refusal to alter interest rates. The weekend offered a fleeting respite, but by Sunday evening, the markets had awoken to the grim reality of geopolitical strife, sending Bitcoin spiraling to $69,000. A brief rally followed, spurred by Trump’s grandiose claims of progress in negotiations with Iran, but this too was a mirage, shattered by Tehran’s swift denial.

Markets, those fickle little creatures, are now whispering sweet nothings about a Federal Reserve rate hike instead of cuts. This charming turn of events follows a month of tumultuous love letters exchanged between the US and Iran, ignited by strikes in late February.