Figure’s $526M IPO: A Blockchain Fairy Tale? 🚀

Founded in 2018 by Mike Cagney-a name that now echoes like a forgotten lullaby-and now shepherded by CEO Michael Tannenbaum since 2024, Figure peddles blockchain-based lending. A modern alchemy, transforming HELOCs, crypto-backed loans, and a “digital asset exchange” into what? Paper dreams? Digital phantoms? For six months ending June 30, 2025, they boast $29.1 million in net income on $190.6 million in revenue. A tidy sum, to be sure, but does it nourish the spirit? Does it feed the hungry? No. It fuels the Nasdaq ticker FIGR, where it will dance on September 10. One wonders: when the music stops, will the chairs be enough for all? 🎭

Coinbase’s Grand Scheme: Tech, Crypto, and Pensions, Oh My! 🎩💰

Mark your calendars, for on the 22nd of September, Coinbase Derivatives shall present the “Mag7 + Crypto Equity Index Futures,” a novelty in the U.S. market. This instrument doth track the “Magnificent 7” tech stocks-Apple, Microsoft, Alphabet, Amazon, Nvidia, Meta, and Tesla-a veritable pantheon of innovation. 🏛️

New Clayface Set Photo Gives Us the Best Look Yet at DC Villain

The circulating Reddit photo from the r/DCU_ community reveals Harries on set, partially concealed by bandages over his damaged face. His visible, distorted features seem precarious and fragile, suggesting they might break away at any instant. The meticulous and grim makeup hints that the movie will rely heavily on realistic effects to bring the terrifying Clayface character to the screen, a technique often praised in horror for its adherence to genre standards. This aligns with recent set photos showing a bruised and wounded Harries being escorted to a hospital, implying that the film will portray the gruesome accident responsible for his transformation.

Alien: Earth Creator Explains Why [Spoiler] Betrayed Yutani

In the film Alien: Earth, Engineer Petrovich turned against Yutani by secretly damaging the Maginot and forming an alliance with Boy Kavalier. This treachery culminated in Petrovich setting a fire within the ship’s engine room, creating a breach in the hull, and ultimately causing the Maginot to collide with Prodigy City.