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As of July 5, 2025, HBAR is trading just above $0.153, which is like finding a nickel on the street after you’ve already spent your last dime. The steady downtrend has been as predictable as a sitcom plot, and the bullish momentum is as strong as a wet noodle. 🍝

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From government bills so big they require their own gravitational field, to Bitcoin waking up like Rip Van Crypto after a 14-year nap, the news cycle has tripped over itself, spilled digital coffee everywhere, and declared, “This is fine.” Robinhood, Ripple, Solana, FTX—they all showed up with PR teams in tow and, in some cases, bailiffs.

Upon entry, those digital buccaneers, as discreet as an elephant tap-dancing on a parquet floor, siphoned choicest sums from the vaults of six unsuspecting banks. Enter the indefatigable blockchain Sherlock, ZachXBT, who tallied that a respectable portion—some $30–40 million, for those counting from their armchairs—transmogfrified at breakneck pace into Bitcoin, Ether, and USDT before vanishing through a labyrinthine warren of regional exchanges and OTC bazaars. The loot’s journey reads less like a bank heist, more like a crypto-themed commedia dell’arte.