Folks, hold onto your wallets! Strike CEO Jack Mallers — picture a financial guru who just found out his 401(k) is a coupon book — says gold and Bitcoin (BTC) are about to look real shiny as the world’s money parade does the cha-cha into chaos.
In a knee-slapping chat with David Lin, a journalist who probably ducks when someone yells “debt crisis!” Jack claims the US has been spending cash it doesn’t have like my aunt at a Vegas buffet. Those trade deficits? Less “national security,” more “National Lampoon’s Economic Vacation.”
Apparently, the big show ahead features a worldwide trade remix with rare assets headlining: BTC and gold, the Mick Jagger and Keith Richards of safe havens. 💰🎸
“Let’s talk reality — and I don’t mean the Kardashians. Printing money like it’s Monopoly night, swapping it for actual stuff? That can’t last forever, folks. This whole setup started after World War II left everyone more wiped out than my Uncle Morty after Thanksgiving dinner. Now, the system’s unraveling like a cheap suit.”
Take it from Jack: “When President Trump says we need to bring back jobs, fix deficits, and actually make things (instead of tweets), he’s not just talking — it’s because China’s got a trade surplus so big they could buy Greenland, and the US is sitting atop $35 trillion in debt. That’s trillion, with a ‘T’ — like my mother-in-law’s bill after QVC has a sale.”
Oh, and about those lenders: there are none. The US is running out of folks to borrow from, unless we start asking Canada to Venmo us. Welcome to the edge of the Sovereign Debt Cliff! 🎢
Jack adds: “Markets are in for enough volatility to make a rollercoaster jealous. Investors trying to time this are basically playing Russian Roulette with a water balloon — except the water’s gasoline.”
And, finally: “Sure, some investors got caught off guard when Trump snowboarded into the White House, talking business and deregulation. But now, everyone gets it: things gotta change, and if your portfolio doesn’t include gold or Bitcoin, you might end up using Beanie Babies as legal tender.” 🐻💸
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2025-05-04 12:23