The air in the broker’s den is thick with the fog of cigar smoke and gloom, for Bitcoin—a steel ship in a storm—has thrashed against the jagged $98.5K rocks. Yet, even as some weak-hearted traders clutch their pearls (or Tether), daring prophets raise their voices above the din, singing the old hymn: “It always rebounds—like my uncle Dmitri after six vodkas.” 🥃
Somewhere under the flickering light, Arthur Hayes, former BitMEX captain and lover of chaos, cracks a crooked grin as Bitcoin surges past $100K again, fresh off a plunge that would’ve made lesser men wail for their mothers. “Do you hear that?” he thunders, the echo rising through the trading halls like a hungry wolf. “It’s the money printers working overtime, bless their oily gears.” The American Dream, now with 100% more crypto.
Meanwhile, far across the digital tundra, Mike Novogratz dons his finest bear-pelt coat (in spirit, at least) and claims that Bitcoin is the only fortress left with working plumbing. Trump and risk assets are apparently in the same foxhole, sharing the last can of beans. Iran is busy shaking its rusty saber but, in Mike’s view, “No air defense means they’re as vulnerable as a bar brawler in ballet class.” He sniffs the wind: if there’s no big Iranian comeback, markets will be dancing by Friday—or crying in the corner, who can say? ⏳
Thinking about how this plays out:
I don’t see Iran as having a strong counter punch. Without air defense you are really vulnerable. They will have to saber rattle and make a few symbolic moves but I don’t think they want the wrath of another attack from above. If it plays…
— Mike Novogratz (@novogratz) June 23, 2025
To the side, ETF oracles Eric Balchunas and Nate Geraci are sprawled beneath the boardroom table, clutching ledgers like love letters. Nate, hand trembling with caffeine and cunning, declares Bitcoin’s ETF returns have trampled gold, S&P 500, and even the mythical US treasury yields. Also, Ethereum’s spot ETFs apparently drink more inflows than a Muscovite at a free vodka tasting—25 thirsty days out of the last 30. 🍸
In the peanut gallery, Balchunas snarks about those forever predicting “sell America,” ignoring the addictive narcotic that is U.S. equities. Apparently, nobody else throws a party quite like Wall Street. The rest of the world? Bring your own chips, and pray for a napkin.
Bitcoin, after a brisk jog through the valley of gloom, manages a modest 2% hop–now at $101,225. If only Dostoevsky were alive: “The volume has increased by 40%, suggesting traders remember—at least for now—how to hope for miracles.”
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2025-06-23 07:01