Bitcoin Drama: Strategy’s $7B Win While Others Cry in Their Crypto Cornflakes! 😂

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So, here we are, folks! The software intelligence firm that decided to moonlight as a Bitcoin investment giant, Strategy, is still sitting pretty with a whopping $7.8 billion profit on its Bitcoin stash. And all this while Bitcoin is doing its best impression of a rollercoaster, dropping to a mere $80,000. 🎢

On March 10, Bitcoin (BTC) decided to break records, but not in a good way. It had its largest weekly decline ever, losing more value than my will to live during a Monday morning meeting. CryptoMoon Markets Pro data reveals that BTC plummeted from $93,379 on March 3 to a low of $80,610 on March 10. That’s a 13.6% drop in just one week! But don’t worry, it’s bounced back a bit to around $82,000. Phew! 🙄

Despite the market throwing a tantrum, Michael Saylor’s Strategy is still ahead of the game. They’re holding onto 499,096 BTC, which they bought at an average price of $66,423 per token. In total, they’ve splurged $33.1 billion on Bitcoin, and their holdings are now valued at $41.2 billion. That’s a 24% unrealized gain! Talk about a financial glow-up! 💅

Strategy’s Bitcoin escapades really show the power of dollar-cost averaging. Instead of throwing all their cash at once like a kid in a candy store, they spread out their purchases. Smart move, right? Or maybe they just have a really good financial advisor who knows how to dodge market drama. 🤷‍♀️

Not all companies investing in BTC are up

While Strategy is basking in the green, other companies that jumped on the Bitcoin bandwagon are feeling the burn. Ouch! 🔥

According to Bitcoin holdings tracker BitcoinTreasuries.NET, healthcare tech firm Semler Scientific, which decided to dabble in BTC on May 28, is down by 6.25%. They hold 3,192 BTC bought at an average price of $87,850. So, their $280 million investment is now worth about $262 million. Yikes! 😬

Then there’s Metaplanet, the “Asia’s Strategy,” which is also feeling a bit blue. They started adding Bitcoin to their balance sheet in April 2023, trying to copy Strategy’s playbook. They hold 2,888 BTC at an average price of $83,049, and they’re down over $2 million. Almost 1% down? That’s like losing a game of Monopoly and having to sell your properties! 🏠

According to blockchain analytics firm Lookonchain, Strategy has spent $23 billion on Bitcoin purchases since November 2024. But with the recent price drop, those BTC are now worth only about $20 billion. That’s an unrealized loss of over $3 billion. Ouch! Someone pass the ice pack! 🥴

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2025-03-10 14:48