Bitcoin Hits $83K: Trump’s Tariff Pause Sparks Crypto Chaos! 🚀

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In a twist that would make even the most jaded cynic raise an eyebrow, Bitcoin has soared to a staggering $83,430 today, thanks to President Trump’s announcement of a 90-day tariff pause. The market, as if possessed by a mischievous spirit, rallied not just in crypto but in stocks too. Who knew tariffs could be so… exciting? 😏

This surge, like a drunken uncle at a wedding, dragged everyone along for the ride. Ethereum (ETH) climbed to $1,650, while Solana (SOL) and XRP enjoyed double-digit gains. Even companies like MicroStrategy and Coinbase Global, who’ve been hoarding crypto like squirrels with acorns, saw their stocks jump by 25% and 17%, respectively. 🐿️

Analysts, those modern-day soothsayers, are now whispering that Bitcoin might be breaking free from the stock market’s gravitational pull. Some even dare to call it a hedge against the chaos of governments and financial systems. Meanwhile, $236.23 million was liquidated from the Bitcoin market in the past 24 hours – $87.55 million in long positions and $148.68 million in shorts. Ouch. 💸

While this surge has reignited the hopes of investors, the so-called experts are as divided as a family arguing over pineapple on pizza. Some predict Bitcoin will hit $100,000, while others warn of economic uncertainties. As for Bitcoin’s 1-day technical analysis? It’s as bearish as a grizzly in a bad mood, with both the summary and moving averages screaming “sell.” 🐻

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2025-04-10 01:57