Bitcoin’s About to WHAT?! šŸ˜±

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So You Think You Understand Bitcoin, Eh?

  • This guy, Benjamin Cowen – sounds like a respectable name, right? – says Bitcoin will peak around late 2025. According to cycles. Cycles! Like it’s a washing machine! šŸ§ŗ
  • Apparently, Bitcoin thinks it’s important and is taking over 66% of the whole crypto shebang. It’s like the big kahuna, except itā€™s getting a littleā€¦settled.šŸ‘µ
  • Ethereum and Solana? Theyā€™re still partying like itā€™s 2025, but even they know the hangoverā€™s coming in 2026. Oh, the humanity!
  • The Federal Reserveā€¦ those guys. Theyā€™re the real puppet masters. They can make or break this whole thing with a nudge of their interest rates. Good luck with that. šŸ™„

Listen Up! According to Benjamin Cowen – and who are we to argue with a name like that? – the worldā€™s favorite digital doodad is gonna hit its peak towards the end of 2025, then take a napā€¦ a long napā€¦ in 2026.

Cowen isnā€™t pulling this out of thin air, you understand. He’s a scholar of the charts! šŸ“œ He claims Bitcoin follows this predictable four-year rhythm, like a clockwork orange. Peaks happen after U.S. presidential elections. 2013, 2017, 2021… it’s a pattern, people! A pattern! If that holds, 2025 is the next act in the Bitcoin soap opera.

ā€œThe year after the high? That’s when you gotta buckle up for a reset,” Cowen proclaims, pointing to 2014, 2018, and 2022 as proof. ā€œItā€™s like nature, baby. You get a boom, thenā€¦ whoosh, back down to earth!ā€

Something’s Fishy…

Now, things are getting suspicious. Price is still going up, but Cowen says little clues are popping up likeā€¦ uhā€¦ annoying relatives. The Bitcoin dominance thing – showing how much of the crypto world belongs to Bitcoin – is around 66%. That means people are running for cover, hiding their altcoins under the mattress. šŸ¤« Historically, that’s when the party’s about to end.

He also mentions this 50-week moving averageā€¦ sounds complicated, right? Whatever! If it dips below $100,000, thatā€™s a sign the bull is kaput. “Dominance up, excitement down-it’s like watching paint dry!” he cheerfully observes.

Where’s the Hype?!

And get this: nobody is shouting about Bitcoin from the rooftops this time! Cowen calls it ā€œthe quietest near-high marketā€ heā€™s ever seen. Fewer Google searches, less social media frenzy… what gives?!

But hold on! Perhaps it means the market is growing up. Fewer wild swings, a steadier ride… or maybe it just means everyone’s too busy watching cat videos. šŸ˜¹

Ethereum & Solana: The Speed Demons

Cowen thinks Ethereum (ETH) will get one last hurrah, maybe hit $5,000-$7,000, before taking a tumble along with everyone else.

And Solana (SOL)? That’s like the kid whoā€™s gone a little too crazy on the sugar! ā€œSolana is Ethereum in 2017,” Cowen warns. “Fast now, but headed for a reckoning!ā€ Boom!šŸ’„

The Fed: The Real Boss

But here’s the kicker: The Federal Reserve and their funny money. They’re the ones calling the shots! High rates make it hard for risky stuff like Bitcoin to go crazy. No surprise there.

But if the Fed suddenly decides to be nice and lower rates? Then it’s go time! “Easy money makes the world go round!” Cowen quips. ā€œBut until then, everyone needs to clean up their mess.ā€

Don’t Panic! (Yet)

Despite all this gloomy talk about 2026, Cowenā€™s still a believer. He thinks Bitcoin could hit a million dollars by 2041 if it keeps getting popular. A million bucks! Imagine the yachts! šŸ›„ļø

ā€œHistory repeats itself,ā€ he declares sagely. ā€œThings change, but the beat goes on! And if you can understand the music, you might just survive!ā€

Disclaimer: I’m a silly website! Don’t listen to anything I say about money. This article is for laughs, not financial advice. If you spend your life savings based on my ramblings, don’t come crying to me!

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2025-11-09 09:46