Bitcoin’s Gospel Broken? Bettors Think Satoshi Moving Coins Is More Likely Than Jesus Returning!

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Prediction markets are now placing more hope on Satoshi Nakamoto finally making a move this year than on Jesus Christ making his grand return. Yes, you read that right. Back in July, traders gave Bitcoin’s mysterious creator a measly 3.7% chance of moving any BTC-but by October 13, that chance had rocketed to 15%, turning this into a full-blown crypto prophecy watch. Who needs divine intervention when you have Bitcoin, right? 🙄

Kalshi and Polymarket Bettors Putting Their Money on Satoshi Making a Move

Bitcoin’s elusive creator mined a small mountain of BTC, and according to data from Arkham Intelligence, that stash now sits at a jaw-dropping 1,096,358.30 bitcoin-currently valued at roughly $121 billion. That’s more than enough to make Nakamoto one of the wealthiest humans on the planet-if they’re even alive. 🙃

And no, these coins aren’t just hanging out in a single wallet, collecting digital dust. They’re scattered across a constellation of addresses, each one holding a piece of this treasure in old-school coinbase rewards. Unfortunately, Satoshi hasn’t done anything with these coins except maybe a few test transfers that were lost to the ether of time.

Right now, Polymarket bettors are pegging the odds of Nakamoto moving some of that stash at a modest 7%. But wait, just last week on October 13, those odds were sitting pretty around 15%. Even at 7%, that’s still way higher than we’d expect, and the market is heating up with $2.12 million in volume since it became the new obsession. Because who doesn’t love a good crypto gamble? 💸

Kalshi’s bettors are also putting their chips on Nakamoto, but their wager takes a much longer view-betting on him moving coins by 2027. Right now, traders are giving that a 14% chance of happening. The market only went live a day ago, starting at a humble 8%, but it’s been creeping up. And here’s the kicker: both Polymarket and Kalshi are giving the chance of Nakamoto moving coins better odds than the U.S. government finally admitting aliens exist this year. 🛸

Over on Polymarket, there’s another wager about the U.S. government coming clean about aliens. Spoiler alert: it’s not looking great, with odds sitting at just 4%. But hey, at least Nakamoto moving his coins is more likely than Jesus Christ coming back to Earth in 2025. Yep, you guessed it-the “return of Jesus Christ in 2025” market is sitting at a negative 1% chance. 👀

While these bets are fun and games, let’s be real for a second-Satoshi Nakamoto moving those coins is still highly unlikely. The wallets have remained untouched for over a decade, standing as silent monuments to Bitcoin’s humble beginnings. Despite all the speculation and noise from the prediction markets, the odds are still heavily leaning toward nothing happening. So, let’s keep that 15% chance in perspective, shall we? 🙄

For now, Nakamoto’s stash remains frozen in time-a digital relic of the beginning, and perhaps, the ultimate lesson in strategic restraint. Maybe it’s not the Second Coming, but it sure does have people talking! 🤷‍♂️

FAQ 🧭

  • What are prediction markets saying about Satoshi Nakamoto?
    Traders on Polymarket and Kalshi are betting on the odds of Bitcoin’s creator finally moving some coins after years of inactivity.
  • How much bitcoin does Satoshi Nakamoto own?
    Arkham Intelligence estimates Satoshi’s stash at around 1,096,358 BTC, worth approximately $121 billion. 💰
  • What are the odds of Satoshi moving coins in 2025?
    Polymarket currently gives it around a 7% chance, down from 15% earlier in October. But hey, who’s counting? 😏
  • Are these bets serious or just for fun?
    Most analysts believe Satoshi’s coins will likely never move. But hey, it’s still fun to speculate, right? 😜

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2025-10-21 18:14