Bitcoin’s Latest Drama: Will Satoshi Regret Not Trademarking “ATH”?

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If you ever found yourself at a family reunion where your uncle whispered a hot stock tip involving goats, Bitcoin will feel familiar. The reigning king of imaginary currency found itself gassed up this week—like a mime trapped in an elevator, but with more online arguing. Michael van de Poppe, who I promise is a real person and not a Dutch pastry, took to social media to announce what every crypto bro yearns to hear: Bitcoin’s All-Time High, or ATH (if you want to sound like you own NFTs), could be retested—again—as long as buyers keep acting like it’s Black Friday at Best Buy.

U.S-China Trade Deal: Bitcoin’s Red Bull? 🥤

In breaking news that’s about as surprising as a dog chasing its tail, the U.S. and China decided to play nice for once. Everyone looked at each other, shrugged, and financial markets collectively unclenched. So now there’s a “deal,” which probably means fewer Twitter meltdowns about tariffs and more CNBC experts acting like they discovered fire.

US & China have a deal.

This means we’ll see an ATH for #Bitcoin soon.

And I think we’ll stall here for a little bit, where #Altcoins continue to show strength.

— Michaël van de Poppe (@CryptoMichNL) May 12, 2025

After 78 hours in a dimly-lit negotiation room (I assume), both nations agreed to lower tariffs to a pleasantly arbitrary-sounding 30% for the next 90 days. Economists are ecstatic. Traders are already practicing their “I told you so” faces in the mirror.

What does this mean for Bitcoin? Allegedly, “risk assets” (i.e., things your dad still doesn’t understand) should have a better time. With inflation maybe going down, interest rates taking a nap, and investors running out of panic tweets, cryptocurrency gets to shine. Again. Maybe.

If your bingo card for the year included Bitcoin passing $109,114.88 (the kind of number that locksmiths use as their password), congratulations! You probably also believe in unicorns. Actually, it already hit $105,747.45 for a hot second—right before “witnessing a correction,” which is crypto-speak for “some people got nervous.”

At the moment, it’s sitting at $105,219, a heroic 1.56% higher, which in Bitcoin time is basically a sneeze. Trading volumes went up over 13% to $50.43 billion, so clearly, everyone except your grandma is still buying more Bitcoin. Or at least pretending really hard on Reddit.

Institutional FOMO: “We’re Totally Not Late to the Party” Edition 🏦

In other words, don’t expect Bitcoin to start moonwalking (again) just yet. Michael, the Dutch pastry—and by now, probably my spirit animal—says BTC might just shuffle sideways like a dad at a wedding while altcoins get the spotlight. For a minute.

Meanwhile, real money from actual business people is rolling in. This means the likes of Goldman Sachs, who apparently ran out of yachts to buy, just picked up 30.8 million shares in a Bitcoin ETF. That’s $1.4 billion if you’re counting—or rearranging your Monopoly board. They did this by buying into BlackRock’s IBIT ETF, making them the biggest holder in the area. Your move, Warren Buffett.

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2025-05-12 13:39