Bitcoin’s Next Trick: Turning Bears into Millionaires? 🤯💰

by

Bitcoin might be gearing up for a bull run so long it’ll need a calendar, a compass, and possibly a packed lunch, according to analysts who can’t agree on what day it is.

Bitcoin, that digital enigma wrapped in cryptographic mystery, could be entering a bull market so prolonged it might outlast your average houseplant, says Jan3 founder Samson Mow. He reckons the recent slump was just Bitcoin taking a nap-bear markets being the cryptocurrency equivalent of hitting the snooze button. And now? Optimism is creeping back in like an uninvited guest at a bear party.

Mow Declares 2025 the “Year Bitcoin Pretended to Be a Sad Bear” 🐻❄️

Samson Mow, in a post on X (formerly Twitter, before Elon turned it into a digital junkyard), boldly proclaimed that 2025 was Bitcoin’s bear market phase. Prices were depressed, sentiment was worse than a Monday morning, and everyone suddenly remembered they had “important things to do” instead of checking charts. But fear not! Mow insists the worst is over-unless, of course, it isn’t.

2025 was the bear market.

– Samson Mow (@Excellion)

Mow then casually dropped the term “omegacycle,” which sounds like something from a sci-fi novel where Bitcoin evolves sentience and starts judging your life choices. The theory? Bitcoin might ditch its usual boom-and-bust routine and instead mimic gold after ETF approval-slow, steady, and occasionally used to bludgeon skeptics.

Related Reading: Bitcoin News: This One Weird Trick Could Make You Rich (Or Ruin You Forever) | Live Bitcoin News

Bitcoin hit a record high of $125,100 in October, which some analysts insist was the peak-because predicting tops is the only thing more reliable than a Magic 8-Ball. Meanwhile, others argue 2026 will usher in a new bear market, proving once again that Bitcoin analysts share one brain cell, and it’s currently on vacation.

Undeterred, Mow doubled down, suggesting Bitcoin could “add a zero” to its price-because apparently, math is just a suggestion in crypto. A move to $1 million? Sure, why not? At this point, Bitcoin might as well start accepting Monopoly money.

Bitcoin analyst PlanC chimed in, agreeing that 2025 was indeed the bear market. “If you made it through 2025, you made it through the bear market,” he wrote, which is the crypto equivalent of saying, “If you survived that haunted house, congratulations, here’s another one.”

Market sentiment in 2025 was so fearful it could’ve starred in a horror movie. Analysts called it “extreme fear,” which, in crypto terms, means “buy now or regret it later (probably both).” Historically, such periods are followed by recoveries-or, as traders call it, “the part where we pretend we knew what we were doing all along.”

Nation-States and ETFs: The New Bitcoin Fan Club 🌍📈

Mow’s grand vision hinges on nation-states adopting Bitcoin like it’s the latest TikTok trend. El Salvador led the charge in 2021, hoarding Bitcoin like a dragon with a shiny new hoard. Other governments are reportedly considering similar strategies, because nothing says “financial stability” like betting the national treasury on internet money.

In the U.S., policymakers have been whispering about Bitcoin reserves-because if there’s one thing governments love, it’s hedging their bets with volatile assets. Bitcoin as a reserve asset? Sure, why not? Next up: national currencies backed by memes.

Spot Bitcoin ETFs have also played their part, opening the floodgates for institutional investors who previously wouldn’t touch crypto with a ten-foot pole (unless it was wrapped in regulation and served with a side of tax breaks). Pensions and endowments piled in, proving that even the most conservative investors have a secret wild side.

Mow compared Bitcoin’s potential to gold post-ETF-a multi-year rally that made early adopters very smug. Bitcoin ETFs could fuel sustained inflows, meaning structural demand might finally outweigh the volatility. Or, you know, not. Who’s to say?

Critics, ever the life of the party, insist Bitcoin is still prone to speculative cycles-because nothing says “stable investment” like a chart that looks like a heart attack. Without consistent adoption, long-term stability might remain as elusive as a straightforward crypto tax form.

For now, Mow’s prediction is a beacon of hope for long-term bulls, or at least those who enjoy rollercoasters. Will Bitcoin embark on a decade-long rally? Maybe. Will it crash spectacularly? Also maybe. Either way, the discussion proves one thing: in crypto, the only certainty is uncertainty. And memes. Lots of memes.

Read More

2025-12-27 15:17