Bitcoin’s Wild Ride: A 4% Bounce After Strategic Reserve Shenanigans

Well, shiver me timbers! Bitcoin, the old sea dog of cryptocurrencies, took a tumble and then a jig, bouncing back a solid 4% on March 7th. It seems the US Strategic Bitcoin Reserve didn’t quite tickle the fancy of the market, but ol’ BTC didn’t stay down for long. 🎢

The data, as slippery as an eel, showed BTC/USD clawing its way back from the depths of $84,713 on Bitstamp. The cause of the kerfuffle? None other than President Trump signing off on a executive order to establish the Strategic Bitcoin Reserve, filled to the brim with confiscated coins. No “new” BTC here, just the spoils of justice! 🏴‍☠️

David Sacks, the White House’s very own crypto czar, took to X to lament the premature sales of bitcoin, which he reckons cost the taxpayers a pretty penny. But fear not! The feds have a cunning plan to maximize the value of their loot, without picking the pockets of hardworking Americans. 💰

“The Secretaries of Treasury and Commerce are authorized to develop budget-neutral strategies for acquiring additional bitcoin, provided that those strategies have no incremental costs on American taxpayers.”

JUST NOW!

President Trump signs an Executive Order establishing the Strategic Bitcoin Reserve and U.S. Digital Asset Stockpile 🇺🇸

— Margo Martin (@MargoMartin47) March 7, 2025

The market, quicker than a jackrabbit on a date, initially took a dive as the bulls’ dreams of a BTC bonanza were dashed. The Kobeissi Letter, a trading resource with more wisdom than a sagebrush owl, called it a “clear sell the news event” with expectations falling flatter than a pancake in a high wind. 🐸

But lo and behold, the Asia trading session brought with it a renewed vigor, setting the stage for the White House Crypto Summit. The industry veterans, with skin as thick as a rhino’s hide, weren’t about to let a little news rattle them. BitQuant, a voice as loud as a foghorn in the mist, chided the panickers for not seeing the bullish signs all around. 🌟

Charles Edwards, the founder of Capriole Investments and a man with the nerves of a riverboat gambler, described the market as “excessively short” at the sub-$85,000 lows. “Bitcoin always overreacts on news,” he said, with a shrug that could be felt across the seven seas. 🎲

Brace Yourselves, Folks: Jobs and Fed’s Powell to Stir the Crypto Pot

But hold your horses! The day wasn’t just about the reserve. The US employment data was set to drop like a hammer, and Jerome Powell, the Chair of the Federal Reserve and a man with the power to move markets with a mere whisper, was poised to give a speech. 📈

A week after the Fed’s “preferred” inflation gauge left no one particularly surprised, the market’s been buzzing like a beehive about interest rate cuts. The CME Group’s FedWatch Tool, a contraption as complex as a steam engine, showed a 11% chance of a cut at the March meeting, with the odds climbing higher than a kite in a tornado for May. 💸

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2025-03-07 13:06