Bored Millionaire Tosses Millions at XRP, Hopes For Happier Ending Than Last Breakfast

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This morning, upon the silent ledger of Onchain Lens, there appeared a faint yet unmistakable tremor: 5.84 million USDC wandered into HyperLiquid, some say as if searching for purpose, others say out of sheer boredom. A sum so large, it might have bought a modest castle in Vologda or, at the very least, twelve months’ worth of lukewarm samovar tea for a provincial lottery winner. 🫖

This fortuitous windfall was immediately pressed into the noble service of a long position—XRP, that restless and misunderstood child ever linked to Ripple—now doubled up with 2x leverage. One can nearly hear the faint sigh of the trader, as if assuring his wallet, “No risk, no tea.” ☕

Strange as it may sound, this same investor once wooed Ethereum (ETH) similarly—also 2x leverage, ostensibly out of either expertise or reckless optimism. Fortune, being occasionally lazy and easily amused, granted him a fleeting $10 million profit. The price of ETH soared, almost as if embarrassed by its own success, up nearly 40% in a week—though not a kopek was spared for fresh bread at the bakery. 🥖

Meanwhile, CoinGecko solemnly declares XRP at $2.39—a decrease of 0.8% in 24 hours. In other words, enough of a change to trouble one’s accountant, but unlikely to disturb the sleep of anyone resting beneath a woolen blanket in a drafty Moscow flat. 🏚️

Outside, in the larger world, the market stirs but does not rise. Trade negotiations between the US and China cast a pale, prosaic light over these fevered digital dreams. All that remains is to wait: for the next gamble, the next rumor, the next lukewarm cup of hope. 🍵

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2025-05-12 09:14