They’re Buying Up All the Bitcoin! 🤑

Great, just what we need. More people buying into the whole Bitcoin thing. I mean, I’m not saying it’s a bad idea, but have you seen the price of these things? It’s like they’re printing money… or not printing money, because that’s the whole point, right?

Anyway, Michael Saylor’s MicroStrategy, or as I like to call it, “Strategy” (get it?), has gone and bought 22,048 more Bitcoins for a cool $1.92 billion. That brings their total holdings to 528,185. I mean, what’s the plan here? Are they going to use them as doorstops or something?

In a press release, Strategy revealed that they paid an average of $86,969 per Bitcoin, which is just a ridiculous amount of money. I mean, I know it’s not my money, but still. And they’re saying they’ve achieved a BTC yield of 11.0% year-to-date. Yeah, because that’s exactly what I want to hear – that my money is being used to buy up a bunch of worthless digital tokens.

So now they hold 528,185 Bitcoins, which they acquired for a total of $35.63 billion. That’s a lot of money, folks. I mean, I know it’s not like they’re going to use it to pay off the national debt or anything, but still. And they’re still the public company with the largest Bitcoin holdings. Go figure.

This comes just a week after they bought 6,911 more Bitcoins for $584 million. I mean, what’s the deal with these guys? Are they trying to corner the market or something? And they’re going to make more purchases in the coming weeks because they’ve raised billions of dollars for their Bitcoin acquisition plans. Yeah, because that’s exactly what we need – more people buying up Bitcoins.

Earlier in March, Strategy announced plans to raise $21 billion through sales of its perpetual strike preferred stock to buy more Bitcoin. And then a week later, they announced plans to raise $722 million to accelerate their Bitcoin bet. I mean, it’s like they’re trying to make a joke or something.

Oh well, I guess it’s not my money, so I’ll just sit back and watch as they buy up all the Bitcoins. I mean, what could possibly go wrong, right? 😂

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2025-03-31 15:24