Ah, the stock-for-stock deal heard ’round the world-or at least around Wall Street and maybe Mar-a-Lago. 😂 On Friday, it was officially confirmed that American Bitcoin will waltz onto the Nasdaq stage under the ticker ABTC come September 2nd. Cue the confetti cannons and awkward family photos!
But wait, there’s more! As part of this Hollywood-style merger saga, Gryphon Digital Mining is doing what every good company does when things get too crowded: a five-for-one reverse stock split. This little magic trick shrinks their shares down to about 16.6 million. It’s like shrinking your waistline after Thanksgiving dinner-except instead of pie, they’re serving up Bitcoin ambitions. 🍰 And let’s not forget who’s behind the curtain here: Eric and Donald Trump Jr., rebranding masters extraordinaire. Their goal? To turn American Bitcoin into the Scrooge McDuck of treasury-focused miners. Quack quack. 🦆
Now, if you thought the markets were calm about all this, think again. Gryphon shares went full rollercoaster mode, spiking an eye-popping 41% on Thursday before crashing harder than a bad toupee on Friday, closing at $1.54. Trading volume? Higher than my cholesterol after a donut binge. 🍩📈
And oh boy, American Bitcoin didn’t just show up empty-handed to this party. Launched in March as a spinoff from Hut 8 (yes, THAT Hut 8), these guys are already sitting pretty with 215 BTC-or so they claim. Rumor has it, though, that number might actually be closer to 2,000 BTC. Sneaky sneaky! 🤫 By hitching their wagon to Gryphon, they’ve skipped the whole IPO hassle faster than I skip leg day at the gym. 💪
This merger isn’t just some random corporate love story; nope, it’s part of a much bigger trend. Publicly traded companies are hoarding Bitcoin like squirrels preparing for winter. Nearly ONE MILLION BTC are now controlled by corporations worldwide-and guess who’s hogging most of it? That’s right, MicroStrategy. Talk about being the cool kid in the crypto club. 😎 For American Bitcoin, this Nasdaq debut means stepping into the spotlight as one of the loudest (and possibly orange-est) players in the mining game. 🍊⛏️
DISCLAIMER: Before you run off and invest your life savings in anything mentioned here, remember: we’re comedians, not financial advisors. Always do your homework-or hire someone smarter than us-to avoid ending up broke and crying into your Bitcoin wallet. 📉😭
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2025-08-30 12:12