24/7 trading, staking, self-custody, and diversification. How pedestrian. 🥱
Yet, shockingly, many brokers still treat crypto like it’s some speculative sideshow, hiding it behind ETF wrappers like a cheap magic trick. Only 35% offer direct access, while the other 65% are committing what I can only describe as professional hara-kiri. 💀
Distribution is the Only Missing Piece
Some brokers claim they’re hesitating because the technology isn’t ready. Darling, that’s as believable as claiming you haven’t heard of Beyoncé. The systems for trading and holding crypto are already more polished than a debutante’s pearls. Regulated custodians? Check. Multi-layer encryption? Double-check. Insurance policies covering cyber risks? Triple-check. 🛡️
Advanced trading systems? Oh, they’re practically whispering sweet nothings to institutional investors. These systems execute orders faster than you can say “blockchain,” use AI to monitor suspicious activity, and connect to liquidity pools like a socialite at a gala. Everything is ready; brokers just need to stop dragging their feet. 👠
And the legal side? It’s developing faster than gossip at a country club. Europe has its Markets in Crypto-Assets Regulation, and the U.S. has the GENIUS Act. Yes, there may be kinks, but isn’t that just an opportunity to shine brighter than your competition? ✨
ETF Access is Not Full Access
Oh, the audacity of brokers who claim they “offer crypto” when all they’re peddling is Bitcoin through ETFs. It’s like saying you’ve served a full banquet when all you’ve done is hand out crudités. 🥕
ETFs are convenient, yes, but they strip away the soul of crypto: no 24/7 trading, no staking, no blockchain adventures. Investors might as well be watching paint dry. And don’t get me started on diversification-portfolios with crypto outperform those without, thanks to their dazzling Sharpe Ratios. But alas, ETF investors miss out on all the fun. 🎢
The Market is Moving On
Crypto is attracting investors faster than free cocktails at a networking event. Even the skeptics are shedding their cynicism like last season’s couture. Goldman Sachs reports that 15% of family offices-yes, the conservative ones-are already dabbling in crypto, and half are considering joining the party. 🎉
But here’s the kicker: basic trading apps won’t cut it anymore. Investors want sophistication, darling. They’re eyeing medium-cap tokens, stablecoins, DeFi projects, and even AI-related tokens. They crave risk management tools sharper than a stiletto heel and tax planning so precise it could rival a Swiss watchmaker. ⏰
And if brokers can’t deliver? Well, 42% of UK wealth clients are ready to take their crypto investments elsewhere. A clear message, no? Adapt or prepare to be yesterday’s news. 📰
Ignoring Crypto Means Losing Clients
History, my dear, has shown us that the whims of the wealthy ripple through the financial world like a perfectly tailored suit. What starts with multimillionaires soon becomes the norm for the masses. Remember tech stocks in the 2000s? Exactly. 📈
Today, crypto is strutting down the same runway. Brokers who adapt will bask in long-term loyalty. Those who resist? They’ll be left clutching their abacuses while their clients sail off into the sunset. 🌅

Anthony Agoshkov is a co-founder of Marvel Capital, a proprietary algorithmic trading firm specializing in high-frequency trading, or HFT, strategies. He is a seasoned C-level executive with over 10 years of experience in the trading and asset management industry.
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2025-08-08 16:05