BTC Profits EVERYONE?! 🤑 Saylor’s Bold Claim!

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Ah, Bitcoin, that capricious mistress, is once again thrust into the glaring spotlight, bellowing its presence for all the world to hear. A spectacle, indeed! 🎭

The world’s preeminent cryptocurrency, that digital leviathan, has surged past $111,800 on Thursday, achieving a new zenith of avarice after Treasury yields, those fickle gods of finance, ascended due to a lamentable 20-year U.S. bond auction. Only days prior, Bitcoin, in its infinite jest, plummeted to a mere $106,000, only to rebound with the tenacity of a scorned lover, shattering its previous illusion of grandeur at $109,200 on Wednesday and nearly touching the heavens at $112,000. Such melodrama! 🎬

This precipitous ascent has reignited the flames of bullish fervor across the market, with major players, those charlatans of finance, weighing in with their pronouncements. Oh, the audacity! 🗣️

Saylor Doubles Down on Bullish View—Or Is It a Delusion? 🤔

Michael Saylor, that high priest of Bitcoin and executive chairman of Strategy (formerly MicroStrategy), took to X, that digital soapbox, to proclaim, with the conviction of a zealot, “No one has ever lost money buying Bitcoin.” A statement so bold, so utterly devoid of nuance, it borders on the absurd. Crypto influencer Altcoin Daily, another voice in the wilderness, echoed this sentiment, noting that in Bitcoin’s 16-year history, 100% of holders are currently luxuriating in profit. Is this truth or merely a gilded cage? 🤷‍♂️

100% of Bitcoin holders (in it’s 16 year history) are in profit.

— Altcoin Daily (@AltcoinDailyio) May 22, 2025

On-chain data from IntoTheBlock, those meticulous number crunchers, ostensibly supports this assertion, revealing that all 19.89 million BTC in tracked wallets are “in the money,” with profitable holdings valued at a staggering $2.21 trillion. A sum so vast, it could make even Croesus blush. But remember, figures often lie, and liars often figure! 🤥

Derivatives Market Heats Up: Volumes, Leverage, and the Inevitable Liquidations 🔥

The rally has also stoked the inferno that is the derivatives market. A playground for gamblers, masquerading as sophisticated investors. 😈

  • Trading volume, that measure of frenzied activity, jumped 84% to hit $221 billion. Such exuberance! 💸
  • Open interest, a harbinger of leveraged doom, rose 17%, signaling ever more precarious positions. A house of cards, perhaps? 🃏
  • Funding rates remained stubbornly positive, indicating that the long traders, those eternal optimists, are paying dearly to maintain their delusions. The price of hope, you see! 😔

Meanwhile, the short sellers, those Cassandra-like figures, were dealt a harsh blow: 💥

  • In the past 24 hours, $179 million worth of short positions were unceremoniously liquidated. The markets, as always, favor the bold… or the foolish. 🤡
  • In contrast, longs only saw $51.61 million in liquidations. A small price to pay for their hubris, no doubt. 😇
  • Options trading volume also surged 85%, as traders brace themselves for more market gyrations. The dance of speculation continues! 💃

What’s Next for Bitcoin’s Price? A Glimpse into the Abyss? 🕳️

Analysts, those soothsayers of the modern age, are fixated on key resistance levels. Joe DiPasquale, CEO of BitBull Capital, that oracle of the blockchain, pegs $120,000 as the next major target, tied to Fibonacci extensions. A prediction as arbitrary as it is confident. 🤔

Veteran analyst Peter Brandt, a man weathered by the storms of the market, is even more audacious, predicting Bitcoin could hover in the range of $125,000 and $150,000 (about 12.5% and 34.7% away from its present price) in the next three months. Such certainty in the face of such uncertainty! A true testament to the human capacity for self-deception. As Bitcoin forges onward, market observers, those diligent chroniclers of folly, are glued to these key indicators. 🤓

In a Nutshell: Or, a Capsule of Madness 💊:

Saylor, that unwavering apostle, proclaims that 100% of Bitcoin holders are basking in profit, and implores investors and institutions to buy and HODL Bitcoin. A siren song, indeed! 🎶

While Bitcoin’s price surge brings euphoria to the crypto faithful, the pivotal question remains: will investors HODL with the tenacity of a miser, or succumb to the siren call of high market volatility? Time, that relentless judge, will reveal all. Let us wait, observe, and perhaps, indulge in a bit of schadenfreude. After all, what is life without a little bit of chaos? 😈

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2025-05-22 15:52