If you sauntered through Wall Street looking for excitement, you’d best hitch your wagon to old Warren Buffett. The man just tossed $1.25 billion worth of Bank of America shares out the window like last week’s potato salad-didn’t even flinch. 🍟💸
What did he do with all that loose change? Well, like any respectable gambler wearing suspenders, he plunked down his coin on UnitedHealth Group (UNH): 5.04 million shiny new shares, ringing the register for $1.57 billion. Because nothing says thrill like buying a company accused of denying claims and frolicking a bit too freely with patient data. The kind of place where, if you limp in with a broken leg, you’ll leave with a broken wallet. 🏥🦵💰
But wait, there’s more. As if betting on healthcare unrest wasn’t enough, Berkshire decided to grab a handful of new toys for the portfolio. Give a round of applause for:
- 6.61 million shares of steelmaker Nucor Corp (NUE), costing a cool $856.79 million. Steel: because it’s cheaper than a backbone and twice as shiny.
- 7.05 million shares of Lennar Corp (LEN), housing developer extraordinaire, for $779.68 million. Because somebody has to build all those McMansions for Instagram influencers.
- 1.48 million shares in home builder DR Horton (DHI), $191.4 million. Apparently, Buffett wants enough homes to play Monopoly in real life.
- Lamar Advertising (LAMR): 1.16 million billboard shares for $141.93 million. Because when you spend billions, you deserve giant roadside reminders.
- Allegion (ALLE): 780,133 shares worth $112.43 million, so no one sneaks in while Warren’s counting his loot. 🏠🔒
Meanwhile, in Q1, Berkshire waved goodbye to $3.2 billion in banking stocks, cutting loose BAC and giving Citigroup the full boot (that’s 14,639,502 shares-someone’s going to need a bigger box). Capital One didn’t escape unscathed either; just $46.489 million left bleeding on the trading floor, but they’re still hanging onto 7.15 million shares. Maybe for sentimental reasons? 🤔💳
In total, Berkshire threw 48.7 million BAC shares off the boat in Q1-worth $2.19 billion, enough to buy all the lemonade stands between Omaha and Wall Street. Yet they’re still clutching 605.26 million BAC shares, worth $28.6 billion. That’s more shares than there are mosquitoes in Mississippi.
If you’re wondering what Warren’s next move is, just follow the trail of breadcrumbs made out of hundred-dollar bills. But whatever you do, don’t stand between him and the exit when he decides to dump again. 🕴️💨
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2025-08-16 23:27