Bunnie Xo, Coco Austin Detail Being in “Submissive” Relationships

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Coco Austin and Bunnie Xo are comparing notes.

Bunnie XO, host of the Dumb Blonde podcast and wife of Jelly Roll, and Coco Austin, known from Ice Loves Coco and married to Ice-T, had a very open discussion about what Bunnie called their “old-school” views on being submissive in a relationship.

Coco explained on the November 9th episode of Dumb Blonde that her husband, Ice, is a hard worker who earns his money on the streets. Her role, she said, is to manage their home and create a peaceful environment where he can unwind and relax when he comes home.

The 46-year-old, who has a 9-year-old daughter named Chanel Nicole with Ice, described their relationship as fairly conventional.

We don’t have a traditional relationship, but we understand each other’s roles,” she said. “I think women need to be independent these days. But if you constantly say ‘I don’t need a man,’ you’ll probably end up alone.

She explained that many men desire a partner who is submissive, acknowledging she might face criticism for saying so. She personally embraces a submissive role, feeling it allows her partner to feel masculine. She believes there’s a natural dynamic where men want to be providers and women can comfortably embrace their femininity, and that this balance is fundamental to relationships.

And she believes their dynamic plays a major factor in the success of their 24-year marriage.

Together, they’ve managed to create an environment at home that is seemingly devoid of conflict.

I’m always fascinated by what makes celebrity marriages work, so I was really curious to see how Bunnie and Coco’s approaches stacked up against each other. Here’s what they’ve shared about their secrets to success…

She explained that the relationship’s longevity came from both people understanding who they are. She advised against being overly dominant, suggesting that while it’s fine to be assertive, it’s important to let men feel protective. She believes sticking to traditional roles and dynamics – the way things have worked for centuries – will avoid conflict.

Bunnie (whose full name is Alisa DeFord) strongly related to Coco’s views on relationships, sharing that she and her husband, Jelly Roll (born Jason DeFord), adjusted how they interacted with each other early on in their relationship.

“That’s exactly what I always say!” shared the 45-year-old, who married the singer of “Wild Ones” in 2016. She explained that one of the first major disagreements she and her husband had was because she was very determined to be self-sufficient. “I came into the relationship thinking, ‘I’m independent and I can handle things on my own, I don’t need anyone’s help.’”

Bunnie remembered her father once telling her, ‘I spend all day fighting dragons, so when I come home, I just want peace and quiet.’ This really stuck with her, and from that moment on, she made it her priority to create a calm and relaxing home environment for him, ensuring there were no arguments or disagreements.

Together, they’ve managed to create an environment at home that is seemingly devoid of conflict.

What secrets do other celebrity couples share for lasting marriages? Here’s a look at how Bunnie and Coco measure up…

In their 2020 book, What Makes a Marriage Last, Hermann explained to his wife, Marlo Thomas, that he never expected to share so much laughter with her in their over 20 years together. He described her consistent focus on finding joy as a core part of who she is. He believes their marriage thrives because she loves him for who he truly is – a true act of kindness.

Finding happiness is essential, even after disagreements. Hermann shared that after a heated argument, one of them will try to lighten the mood with a joke, often about the very thing they were fighting about. He explained, “It’s about finding a way back to connection, acknowledging that neither of us is entirely right or wrong.” Once they can start joking again, it’s a strong indication that they’re on the path to resolving the issue.

They’ve managed to avoid big changes in their relationship by following the same advice they received before getting married in 2003. Even with five children, they prioritize weekly date nights and have chosen to avoid buying a television, opting instead for other ways to connect.

Chip says his biggest piece of advice is to passionately pursue the person you love. After twenty years, he still approaches their relationship as if he’s trying to win her over. He jokes that while he can’t guarantee anything, she won’t ever feel neglected – he consistently shows her his love with words, gestures, and by remembering important dates.

Kevin Bacon jokingly advises against taking relationship advice from celebrities, a sentiment echoing their own famous rule: “Keep the fights clean and the sex dirty.” They developed this phrase to quickly shut down any further questions about their marriage.

In reality, they prioritize resolving disagreements quickly and avoid prolonged arguments. As Bacon’s wife explained to Thomas and Donahue, they focus on finding solutions rather than “winning” a fight. They simply don’t enjoy arguing and want to restore harmony as soon as possible. Ultimately, she emphasized that they are committed to making their marriage work, because there is no alternative plan.

After over 37 years of marriage, the actors have learned how to argue constructively. As one of them explained, they avoid bringing up past hurts. They believe some couples intentionally target their partner’s weaknesses during disagreements, but they don’t engage in that behavior.

They do have arguments, of course. One of them admits he often tries to immediately take back hurtful things he says, but he knows that doesn’t really solve anything. Instead, he lets his wife take the lead and give him space when he messes up. She, in turn, tries to be understanding, reminding herself that everyone makes mistakes and that his good qualities outweigh any temporary hurt feelings. She chooses to believe he didn’t intend to cause pain.

You know, after all these years, Christopher Still makes me laugh like no one else! I was chatting with Today back in December 2024, as we were approaching our 40th anniversary, and I realized what keeps us going. He must find something lovable about me, even if I have no idea what it is! But honestly, after four decades, I’m just glad he does!

Neil Patrick Harris believes the key to his long-lasting relationship is accepting that relationships are always changing and hard to define. Over 21 years, through career changes – including his partner David Burtka’s cookbook release in 2019 – raising twins Gideon and Harper, and navigating difficult times, Harris says marriage is never static. He explained that even intimacy evolves, and couples need to find new ways to connect and rekindle attraction as they age. Ultimately, he shared, attraction shifts from physical to emotional, and then back again. It’s a constant process of change, meaning they’re continually falling in love with each other in new ways.

This comedic duo genuinely believes that laughter extends their lives, not just over their nearly two decades together. The actress from Can You Ever Forgive Me? explained that whenever they share a particularly hilarious moment – the kind that leaves you breathless – they calculate how much extra life it’s given them. She jokingly keeps a running tally, often adding months to her lifespan after a good laugh.

They also limit how long disagreements last. Following the advice to never go to bed angry, Falcone shared that she once tried letting an argument linger overnight, only to realize she’d forgotten what she was even upset about. She believes that trying to resolve issues when everyone is tired or has had a drink is pointless, and she’s never had a late-night argument end with a satisfying resolution and a truce.

Oh my gosh, I just love how these two figured things out! They both came into the relationship with baggage – previous marriages and kids already! Can you imagine? It wasn’t just about falling in love, it was about becoming instant step-parents to two kids each! She said something so brilliant – there’s no manual for this! She instantly realized the kids already had moms, and she wasn’t trying to replace them. She decided to just be their cheerleader! Isn’t that amazing? She never tried to be the disciplinarian or tell them what was right or wrong – she let their real parents do that. It was all about support! And he totally agreed! He said offering yourself as a friend is so wise. Just saying, ‘I’m here for you, I won’t judge, let’s just hang out.’ Honestly, it’s the perfect approach – just genuinely be there for them. I’m obsessed with how thoughtful they were!

Elton John and David Furnish first formalized their relationship with a civil union in Britain on December 21, 2005, and later married on the same date nine years later when it became legal. However, they celebrate a different date: the unexpected meeting at a 1993 dinner party at John’s apartment in Windsor, England, arranged by a mutual friend.

Remarkably, every Saturday, regardless of location or distance, they exchange handwritten letters. Over the years, this practice has resulted in approximately 1,352 letters. Furnish believes handwriting adds a special, genuine quality to their communication, allowing them to reflect on the past week and discuss the future. John agrees, stating that consistent communication is key to a long-lasting and successful relationship.

After quietly building a 40-year marriage – she even dreamed of meeting him six months before they did – they’ve consistently made their relationship a central part of their lives, even as everything else has changed.

“Marriage is our priority, and we actively work to keep it that way,” she explained. If she could offer one piece of advice, it would be to always prioritize that bond. He added with conviction, “I would do absolutely anything for her – face any challenge, make any sacrifice. I might sometimes do things that upset her, but I would never let anything come between us.”

He emphasized that if you believe marriage is essential to your happiness, you must fiercely protect it.

ABC News reporter Roberts admits she doesn’t enjoy casual check-in calls. “I don’t like them,” she said. “If you’re just calling to ask ‘what’s up,’ I really don’t.” But a close friend, who frequently called her, helped her change her perspective.

He told her, “Maybe he just feels comfortable hearing your voice, because it makes him feel like everything is okay.” Roberts realized this was a sweet thought she hadn’t considered before. “If it means something to him, then it should mean something to me,” she explained.

Now, she takes a moment to respond kindly, saying something like, “I’m busy, but what’s new with you?” and letting him know she’s glad to hear from him before ending the call. She says this small change makes a huge difference to him, and it only takes a couple of minutes to be pleasant. The couple celebrated their 29th anniversary in September 2024.

Their almost 30-year marriage started building its foundation early on. They recall even small arguments – like when the actor once threw the talk show host’s ring out the window – feeling potentially devastating. The talk show host explained that in the beginning of a marriage, minor issues can quickly escalate, especially with financial or career pressures, or the challenges of raising children while exhausted. However, her husband taught her the importance of stepping away and taking a moment to calm down, realizing that not every disagreement needs to be a major crisis. Now, as parents of three, they’re enjoying the rewards of that lesson. The actor believes that truly happy couples have faced difficult times together and overcome them, and that’s something to celebrate.

She describes herself as an introvert, almost a loner, while he’s incredibly outgoing – he jokingly calls himself “the mayor of everywhere.” She’s a bit messy, and he’s a perfectionist, as she put it. But after being married since 2003, they’ve learned to accept each other’s quirks.

That’s the advice the lead actress from How to Get Away With Murder gives to friends who are getting married. She explains that marriage doesn’t begin at the wedding ceremony. It starts when you realize something about the person you love will likely annoy you, but you love them anyway. That moment of acceptance, she says, is when your marriage truly begins.

Maintaining a long-term relationship, like any lasting over 50 years, requires quickly resolving conflicts. Jane Fonda, star of Grace and Frankie, often takes the lead in smoothing things over. She explains it’s easy to apologize because she deeply loves her partner and hates to see them feel alone, even for a short time.

Ideally, she avoids needing to apologize at all. Her biggest piece of advice is to remember that hurtful words said in anger will ultimately cause you more pain later. You’ll end up regretting what you said to someone you care about, creating a double dose of anger – which isn’t good for your health or the relationship.

As someone who’s observed relationships for years, I’ve always been fascinated by what really makes them work. And the story of Jerry and Judge Judy is a perfect example! He jokes that their long marriage thrives because he usually lets her win, but it’s deeper than that. They divorced once before, twelve years in, because he couldn’t fully step up as the support she needed after her father passed. When they remarried quickly a year later, she went into it knowing he wasn’t going to suddenly become a domestic guru or a party planner. She understood who he was, and accepted it.

What I’ve learned is that trying to change someone is a recipe for unhappiness. It almost always leads to resentment. Honestly, I don’t think you should ever marry someone hoping you can mold them into who you want them to be. Accept them for who they are, flaws and all, and you’ll have a much better chance at a lasting, fulfilling relationship.

The actor from Lost credits his wife with being the rock of their family. He told TopMob News in April 2025 that her patience and support—especially while he travels for work—have been essential to their stability. He described her as “fantastic.”

The actor described his wife as incredibly patient and said she and their two sons always keep him grounded, no matter what challenges he faces.

“They shape my values,” he added. “It’s great to have that perspective and North Star.”

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2025-11-10 20:18