“HODL” used to mean “hide your keys and forget about it until 2030.” Now, California’s like, “Oops, you forgot to check your crypto? Here’s a 3-year expiration date and a free state confiscation 🚨.”
Assembly Bill 1052? Sounds like a red-tape smoothie. Avelino Valencia, our hero, just made sure your lost Bitcoin gets a “property of the state” stamp by June 2025. Because nothing says “trust us” like letting bureaucrats hold your crypto in a vault they control. 🤡
Lawmakers claimed they’re “modernizing the economy” while forcing a licensed custodian to babysit your coins. Let me guess: they charge a fee for this “service”? Of course they do. 💸
“We’re protecting your assets!” they said. “We’re embracing blockchain!” they said. What they really meant: “We’re creating a new tax bracket for forgotten wallets.” 😂
Valencia’s speech? Five minutes of eye-rolling and a 69-0 vote. Because in politics, if you want something done, just ignore the obvious flaws and hope nobody notices. 🙃
Impact on California’s crypto landscape
AB 1052 is here to end the “mysterious disappearances of crypto” era. Now exchanges have to send you 27 emails, texts, and smoke signals reminding you to log in before the state takes your coins. Spoiler: no one checks their spam folder. 😅
Self-custody? Suddenly the cool kid’s move. Because nothing says “smart investor” like moving your crypto to a wallet you might lose in a drawer. 🎒
Is California alone?
Other states? They’re busy selling your coins for cash like they’re at an eBay for your financial future. 🛍️💸 Illinois and Delaware liquidate your Bitcoin at $20k and call it “efficient.” Arizona’s 2025 law? Same idea, but with more paperwork and less dignity.
What’s more?
As Bitcoin hits $90k and Ethereum’s flexing $3,300, California’s like, “Let’s take your gains now before you remember they exist.” Perfect timing! 🐃
The CLARITY Act? Sounds like a joke. More like “Confusing Legalese And Robbing Legit Investors Today.” 😒
Final Thoughts
- Three years of inactivity = free Bitcoin for the state. HODL harder, or face the taxman. 🤝
- 69-0 vote? Wow, even the opposition was busy at the time. 😅
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2026-01-06 15:02