Cryptonews

This technical analysis is brought to you by CoinDesk’s Omkar Godbole, a man who spends his days staring at charts. Bless his heart.

XRP simmers in a stew of consolidation, its technicals whispering bullish secrets. The RSI, now at 54, resembles a hangover after a bender-recoiling but not defeated. Institutional flows? They swell like a symphony of greed. 🎵 Market participants watch, sipping lukewarm tea. 🫖

Glassnode, a firm dedicated to peering into the digital entrails of blockchains (one can only imagine the expense of the crystal ball), has noticed this curious phenomenon. The ‘Total Transaction Fees’ indicator, a metric of impressive verbosity, appears to be languishing. It measures, rather predictably, the fees attached to each transaction. One suspects the numbers are perfectly accurate, though the significance remains, shall we say, open to interpretation.

A cross-party herd of MPs, peers, and other barnyard thinkers penned a plea to Chancellor Rachel Reeves, arguing that the Bank of England’s rules are tightening the noose on stablecoins-those clever tokens pegged to the old-world currencies-risking a financial exodus that would leave the U.K. with naught but a humble pie chart of prosperity embarrassment. 😒

YouTube has, with the grace of a Victorian hostess at a tea party, announced that U.S. creators may now receive payouts in PayPal’s PYUSD stablecoin. One might assume that the mere mention of cryptocurrency would send the average user into a frenzy of existential dread, but PayPal, ever the gentleman, has taken it upon itself to handle the nitty-gritty. 🤑

The data highlights three big forces at work. Recent buyers sit in heavy losses, while new whales are capitulating. Macro conditions still drive price, even as spot buying strength quietly returns. 🧠📉

BTC value: $91,402 💰

Behold, three sacred truths shall rise from this digital quagmire-autonomous agents, payment rails that dissolve like sugar in tea, and privacy-first blockchains. Together, they shall herald the internet’s financial metamorphosis, or perhaps its tragicomedy. Only time will tell if this is salvation or a very expensive Ponzi scheme.

According to the announcement, JPMorgan arranged the first U.S. Commercial Paper (USCP) issuance for Galaxy Digital, a feat most commendable. The debt, settled through Circle’s USDC, was orchestrated by the venerable Coinbase Global Inc. and Franklin Templeton, whose names are as synonymous with trust as they are with capital. 🤝

Now, these chaps aren’t your average ne’er-do-wells. They’re posing as recovery specialists, wallet engineers, and whatnot, with polished patter that’d fool your own grandmother. They’re plying their trade through direct messages, emails, and cloned profiles-dastardly clever, if you ask me. Once they’ve got a chap’s ear, they spin a yarn about urgent account recovery, all to pilfer those precious seed phrases. And let me tell you, once those keys are out, your wallet’s as secure as a sieve. 🚪🔑