For weeks, the coin had butted its head against the $93,000-$94,000 barrier, a cruel mirage that vanished when approached. Ted, the soothsayer of crypto (@TedPillows), muttered, “BTC’s stuck in a holding pattern, boys-ETFs ran outta gas, and now we’re all just waitin’ for somethin’ to give.” The charts looked like a drunkard’s doodles, looping circles around $90K like a dog chasing its tail.
These numbers aren’t just bad; they’re a slap in the face for anyone still holding onto that pixelated monkey or Beeple’s digital doodle. Once riding high on the crypto rollercoaster, now they’re stuck at the bottom of the kiddie ride-crying, waving for help, and pretending it was all a joke.
Meanwhile, the cryptocurrency market, that fickle flirt, has returned to its usual red hue after a brief dalliance with positivity. Bitcoin (BTC) is down almost 2%, while Ethereum (ETH) is down over 1% at $3,103. Ripple (XRP), Solana (SOL), and Dogecoin (DOGE) are also trading in the red, as if someone spilled tea on their charts. 🩸📉
At the summit of blockchain wisdom-yes, a grand assembly of nerds and politicos alike-she declared her intent to push the much-anticipated Responsible Financial Innovation Act through the gauntlet before the snow falls and Congress takes its holiday nap. No rest for the weary, only more drafts to change! 📝😂
Just look at this chart from TradingView-quite the masterpiece, showing ASTER stubbornly holding this range for the third week in a row. A price level that had halted its fall before, no doubt lulling traders into a false sense of security. Could this be the key to some sort of grand rebound? No. It only muddied the waters further, as traders, desperate for any shred of clarity, wondered if this ETF rumor could somehow be connected to the price’s stubborn accumulation. Spoiler alert: it wasn’t. But hey, who cares about facts when rumors are so much more fun?
The CFTC, in a move that’s as bold as a Bertie Wooster scheme, has launched a pilot permitting the aforementioned digital chaps-BTC, ETH, and USDC-to serve as collateral in U.S. derivatives markets. Acting Chair Caroline Pham, no slouch in the brains department, announced this ripper of an initiative as part of a broader push to bring digital assets into the fold of regulated finance. Toodle pip to the old ways, what?
It would seem that Bitcoin’s perpetual futures open interest has been a mere shadow of itself, hovering below the 310K BTC mark since October’s “grand reset.” One might say the market has grown a bit… tired of all the drama. Who can blame it? The funding rates, once the toast of the town, have also been plummeting, a clear sign that traders are growing weary of paying for their optimistic bets. After all, who wants to throw good money after bad? 😏
Highlights you’d better not ignore:
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It began, as these things often do, with a slight upward tick. Bitcoin, that digital phantom, briefly climbed 4% to $92,000. But then… nothing. Or rather, a decline. It settled around $90,000. A price action considered unusual, as it came with the news of Strategy’s acquisition of 10,624 more bitcoins – bringing their total to an astonishing 660,624. A man can collect things, I suppose. Though why these… bitcoins… is beyond me.
