Visa, ANZ, ChinaAMC, and Fidelity International have just wrapped up a “let’s see if this works” test of cross-border settlement using Chainlink infrastructure. Spoiler alert: It worked.
In a tweet dripping with the authority of someone who reads charts like novels, Crypto Con declared that the recent flirtation above $71,000 is merely a trifling rebound, much like a polite cough at a funeral, rather than any suggestion that the bear market has left the building. The so-called Halving Cycles Theory, a framework as mystical as it is misunderstood, apparently governs these melancholy price movements. Our intrepid analyst assures us that the first low, neatly ticked off on the Bear Bands, is actually a harbinger of further gloom-a delightful twist for those who revel in financial tragedy.
On‑chain candles flared up, showing Binance futures with a delta that made grandmothers nod in approval. The exchange added $430 million in new positions-like a family friend crashing a Halloween party and bringing a huge dessert platter that nobody saw coming. Gate.io, by the way, slipped in with $189 million. Bybit followed suit, a little more quietly, with $166 million. The trio together committed an amount that even my neighbor’s investment club frowned upon, claiming it was the strongest derivatives expansion since last January.
Between October and December 2024, Farage’s cabal amassed £5.5 million ($7.3 million), a sum so colossal it makes the coffers of the Conservatives and Labour look like the contents of a child’s piggy bank. This windfall, courtesy of Christopher Harborne (or Chakrit Sakunkrit, if you prefer the exotic flourish), is not merely a donation but a declaration: the crypto aristocracy has arrived, and democracy is their newest plaything. Harborne, a man whose wealth is as cryptic as his Thai pseudonym, has single-handedly rewritten the rules of political finance, leaving traditional parties to ponder whether their next fundraiser should be a bake sale or a car wash.
As more people start buying and Bitcoin helps lift the overall crypto market, traders are focusing on whether Ethereum (ETH) can break past $2,200. If it does, it could climb to $2,350 or $2,400. However, ETH is currently having trouble reaching $2,200, suggesting this price increase might only be temporary.
But here’s the kicker: while XRP is trying to look all fancy with its cup-and-handle, the underlying support is about as sturdy as a wet paper bag. Exchange flows are like, “Nah, we’re good,” derivatives traders are leveraging like it’s 2008, and the XRP Ledger activity? Oh, honey, it’s colder than a winter in Antarctica. So, yeah, this bullish setup might be as reliable as a weather forecast in March. Thanks, XRP, for keeping us on our toes-or should I say, hooves?
Ah, the tragicomic tale of Ripple and Ethereum! Steven Zeiler, once a cog in Ripple’s grand machine, now a raconteur at yellow.com, regales us with a story so absurd it could only be true. In the glittering halls of the 2013 Money 2020 conference, Ripple’s visionaries, including the young Vitalik Buterin, dreamed of “programmable money” on the XRP Ledger. But, alas! Ripple’s management, in a fit of bureaucratic folly, froze the protocol, focusing instead on the dull drudgery of banking. Buterin, ever the visionary, fled this stifling environment to create Ethereum, leaving Ripple to ponder what might have been.
Ah, the crypto arm of Andreessen Horowitz, that indefatigable hydra of Silicon Valley, rears its head once more, this time with a fifth venture fund, even as the digital asset landscape languishes in a torpor of diminished enthusiasm. Fortune, ever the chronicler of such pecuniary dramas, has spilled the ink on this latest endeavor.
The White House dropped this bomb on the Senate on March 4th, and guess what? It might just end the epic soap opera between Trump and Powell. Plot twist, anyone?
Before we dive into this carnival of careers, let’s tip our hats to the ringmasters who shared their wisdom: Fernando Lillo Aranda, the Marketing Maestro at Zoomex; Vivien Lin, the Product Prophet at BingX; Dorian Vincileoni, the Growth Guru at Kraken; and Federico Variola, the Captain of Phemex. These folks have painted a picture so clear, even a mule could follow it-though I wouldn’t trust a mule with my crypto wallet.
