After a year that’d make even Gatsby blush, Ledger’s plotting its next move: a cash grab and a transatlantic flirtation with the U.S. market. 🤑🇺🇸 Sources whisper to the Financial Times that Ledger’s CEO, Pascal Gauthier, is practically living out of a suitcase in New York, where the crypto bigwigs now sip their martinis. 🍸
This political soap opera was quite the spectacle-losses of nearly $85 billion, government workers moonlighting as unpaid superheroes, and a pantomime of halted reports that no one could read. But fear not! The long, icy grip is thawing, and the money hoses may soon gush again-salaries on Friday, folks! Time to dust off those statistics reports and pretend we’re all economists again. 📊
Keep your eye on $2.4-our current near-miss support-and $3.6, the resistance highfalutin’ traders are watching. Meanwhile, Open Interest still whispers sweet nothings about bullish leverage, so don’t count this digital chap out just yet!
Pi’s creators whispered sweet nothings about “one coin, one community,” but chaos erupted faster than a birthday surprise for a grumpy frog. Whispers of a “GCV Handbook” now claim 1 Pi equals $314k (because who needs math, right?). And get this: two Pi coins? One for exchanges, one for GCV transactions? That’s like saying you need two potatoes for a recipe-one fried, one mashed! 🥔🥔
At this very moment, ZEC dances at $658, a 20% leap in a single day-proof that madness, like gravity, requires no explanation. A 1,300% annual gain? Surely, this is either divine favor or the prelude to a spectacular collapse. But who cares, so long as the numbers go up? 📈
Despite the exodus, Bitcoin and Ethereum prices decided to play hopscotch, bouncing back by 4.4% and 7.2%, respectively. It’s almost as if they’re saying, “Sure, we’ve lost billions, but look how high we can jump!” 🚀
Ether (ETH) is currently strutting its stuff 💃 after surviving the dreaded 3400-3700 “support zone” trials by fire 🔥. Spoiler: It didn’t die. Shocking!
Solana’s the top dog in DEX Volume (last 24h) – according to none other than the great Solana Sensei himself!
Dearest readers, the U.S. government has once again decided to treat our financial system like a giant Etch-A-Sketch, vigorously shaking it with a glorious $500 billion injection. One might say it’s the economic equivalent of shouting “Here’s a miracle!” while Bitcoin predictably surges with the elegance of a penguin on roller skates. Rumours whisper this is merely the opening act-shall we champagne or merely survive? 🍇🤑
SUI huddles in its $1.6-$2 bunker like a Soviet-era bureaucrat hoarding toilet paper-tight, suspicious, and waiting for the inevitable chaos. Re-accumulation? More like reheated borscht. 🍲