Cryptonews

The wallet address “0xafEe” (previously “AlphaRaccoon”) netted nearly $1 million by correctly predicting nearly every outcome in Google search trend markets. 🎯

While retail traders are busy charting their way to the moon (or, more likely, the nearest bankruptcy filing), traditional finance experts like Rebecca Patterson are sounding alarms that would make a firehouse blush. 🔔 The issue? Bitcoin’s cozy new relationship with legacy markets might be less “romantic comedy” and more “disaster movie.”

Investors scratch their heads, scratching their-they’re investing in unseen magic behind the curtains, while XRP just refuses to grow up. It’s like pouring Champagne into a leaky bucket, folks. 🍾🪣

Meanwhile, the investors seem to be acting as if their fortunes depend on it-because, indeed, they do. Their eagerness to snatch BTC from the clutches of exchanges could turn the tide if those lofty institutions decide to join the party. After all, everyone loves a comeback story-especially when it involves millions of dollars and the promise of riches.

The USPD team, after much scrambling and hand-wringing, finally admitted the bleedin’ obvious on December 5th. Don’t buy the token, they wailed! Revoke your permissions! As if a revoked permission is going to bring back a million dollars… honestly. They tell you not to buy it, that’s a good sign, isn’t it? 🙄

First in-person tango with @saylor! 🎩💃 #CryptoProm2025

Enter Maxim Oreshkin, Russia’s economic wizard-in-chief, who declared at a bank-sponsored tea party: “We’ve got this tiny new export-crypto mining. No, it’s not a typo. It’s a sneaky, invisible, hard-to-catch beast that’s messing with our crystal ball.” 🧙♂️🔮

Ah, the tragedy of Solana’s attempt to best $148, an epic of Sisyphean proportions. In a turn that bore the shades of Hamlet’s doubt, it stumbled beneath the revered $145 and $144 to wander mournfully into the short-term bearish abyss. The price whispers sweetly below the 23.6% Fib retracement level of its upward journey from $123’s demure swing low to the dizzying $147 height. This foray below the bullish trend line at support $144 upon the hourly stage was most unexpected, indeed.

Latest from the West, Base whispered into the ether on a crisp Thursday that its bridge-a digital footbridge of sorts-now arches securely across to Solana’s domain. It’s secured, one must note, by the sturdy chains of Chainlink’s Cross-Chain Interoperability Protocol. This, my friends, ensures that assets can traverse from one land to another without mishaps, a feat quite modern and unbelievably convenient, or so it seems.

The Fed’s favorite game: “Guess the Inflation Number”! Spoiler: it’s still way above 2%, because apparently, 55 months of missing the target is just… a warm-up. 🤢