This comes as Congress tries to pretend they’re not all secretly HODLers. The timing? Suspicious. The subcommittee’s job? Pretending to regulate crypto. The result? A market on edge, waiting for the next regulatory fireworks 🧨.
A Comedy of Errors
In a rather emphatic flourish, Trump has firmly squashed rumors of pardons for a number of high-profile personalities, including our beleaguered friend Sam Bankman-Fried, who, following the spectacular collapse of FTX, did find himself on the receiving end of a conviction in 2023. One can only wonder what kind of tea he was brewing while all this unfolded.
Now, let’s talk about the Wyckoff Accumulation Schematic. Sounds fancy, doesn’t it? According to a monthly chart shared by Bitcoin-sensus (yes, I’m serious), Ethereum appears to be in the final act of this unfolding drama, transitioning from Phase C to Phase D. The recent bounce from what they call the Last Point of Support (LPS)-which sounds like a wannabe rock band-suggests that demand is strutting back into town.
Over the last 24 hours, ETH price faced strong selling pressure. Data from Coinglass reveals that ETH faced around $42 million worth of liquidations in the past 24 hours. Of this, buyers liquidated nearly $26.5 million worth of positions. But don’t worry, the buyers are just getting started. 🚀
Behold, the noble SHIB, rising by a modest 1.05% in the last 24 hours-a triumph as subtle as a whisper in a hurricane. 🌪️🐕
On the daily chart, ETH has clawed its way above the broad descending channel, a desperate climb up a hill of dust and doubt. After a fierce bounce from the green demand zone near $2,600 in mid-December, the price dared to reclaim the $3,000 mark, a beacon for the brave. But the rally faltered, just short of the $3,500 resistance band, a cruel mistress that has long held sway over this land. The RSI, once a roaring fire, now flickers low, a warning that the flames may soon die.
Lo and behold, Midnight broke below $0.0836, a price point so sacred, it’s like a holy grail for traders. They cried, “The end is nigh!” and fled faster than a cat chased by a vacuum cleaner. 🧹🐱
The systemic leverage, once a frothy 10% of the market cap in 2025, has now dwindled to a mere 3%-a veritable monsoon of prudence. Such austerity, they claim, is the perfect recipe for a “sustainable recovery,” as if crypto had ever known the meaning of the word.
This proclamation came in the wake of a rather dramatic exodus-yes, an exodus!-of the Zcash core developer team. It conjures up images of biblical proportions, does it not? And thus, Mow, in his inimitable style, did not miss the opportunity to express his thoughts on these “s-coin developers” who seem to abandon their posts with the fickleness of a summer breeze.
