Cryptonews

One Mr. Colin Talks Crypto, a gentleman of some renown in these digital circles, hath lately opined upon the curious dance between Bitcoin Dominance and the broader market’s fortunes. Responding to the learned Mr. Matthew Hyland, who observed a most dastardly bear flag pattern in BTC.D’s weekly chart-accompanied by a negative RSI setup, no less-our Colin posits a most counterintuitive notion: this bearishness may, in fact, bode well for the masses 🚩.

So, unlike most coins that are doing the cha-cha up the charts, ZEC decided to take a dramatic plunge and drop a cool 23.59% in just 24 hours. Yikes, someone call a lifeguard.

Bloomberg’s own Eric Balchunas, a feller with more charts than a town had taverns, tweeted:
“21Shares just dropped an 8(a) for their spot XRP ETF. 20 day clock in effect.” 👀

The company stands at the crossroads of political fervor and fiscal madness. Truth Social? Still a riddle wrapped in an enigma, shrouded in a lack of data. Users? Growth? Revenue? The silence is deafening, like a poet’s unspoken verse. 📉

As the clock strikes the hour of reckoning, we find our cherished DOGE trading at a resplendent $0.1813, marking a jubilant rise of 9.18% in the past 24 hours. Its market cap has swelled to a staggering $27.5 billion, leaving one to wonder if there’s a secret Dogecoin printing factory hidden somewhere! 💸

At their recent gathering-more formally known as the Swell conference in New York-Ms. Monica Long, evidently the voice of reason amid the swirl of digital ambitions, proclaimed that “We do not have an IPO timeline. No plan, no timeline.” Such clarity, so refreshing in these times of endless speculations and hurried decisions-indeed, quite a departure from the usual rush of our modern beaux with a penchant for rushing into the public eye.

The Zcash price rally has been nothing short of legendary. It’s like that one underdog movie where the awkward kid suddenly becomes the prom king. Arthur Hayes, who you may know as the co-founder of BitMEX and CIO of Maelstrom (his super elite family office, not a band name, unfortunately), dropped the knowledge bomb on November 7 through X (formerly Twitter, but we know no one calls it that). According to him, Zcash’s meteoric rise has it sitting in second place in Maelstrom’s largest crypto holdings. Take that, other coins! 😎

Oh, Kazakhstan, you sly fox! 🦊 Bloomberg just dropped the hottest gossip: you’re planning a $1 billion crypto reserve fund by 2026. Funded by, wait for it… seized assets, repatriated goodies, and mining leftovers! 💎✨ No direct Bitcoin holdings, though-apparently, you’re not here to ride the rollercoaster of volatility. 🙅‍♀️ Instead, you’re all about those … Read more

According to a top analyst who goes by the enigmatic moniker of Darkfost, the market is mutating faster than a Proteus on quaaludes. The traditional on-chain indicators have started to look about as reliable as Female Androids’ fake wrists. “With time, we can clearly see that the structure and dynamics of the market are evolving,” Darkfost comments, in what might well be Charles Darwin’s most puzzling observation ever.

So there I was, scrolling through my feed of crypto doomscrolling, when Toncoin suddenly bounced back from its brief $1.90 faceplant. A meager 3.5% recovery over 24 hours? Groundbreaking stuff! Now everyone’s speculating if TON can turn its $2 rebound into an “explosive rally”-because nothing says “explosive” like eye-rolling chart indicators and the patience of saints.