So there I was, scrolling through my feed of crypto doomscrolling, when Toncoin suddenly bounced back from its brief $1.90 faceplant. A meager 3.5% recovery over 24 hours? Groundbreaking stuff! Now everyone’s speculating if TON can turn its $2 rebound into an “explosive rally”-because nothing says “explosive” like eye-rolling chart indicators and the patience of saints.
To hit $5.76, DOGE’s market cap would balloon to $840 billion-basically, it’d need to outshine Ethereum like a Chihuahua in a room full of Great Danes. 🐕🦺 But hey, stranger things have happened… like 2021’s 12,000% rally! Was it Elliott Wave magic? Or just Twitter-fueled hysteria? 🤔🤡
Ethereum’s weekly chart is currently showing off its skills with a solid support around $3,130-$3,200. Now, this isn’t just any support. This is the kind of support that could hold up your entire weight on a bad day. Why? Because it aligns perfectly with the 50-week moving average (WMA) and the 0.618 Fibonacci retracement zone. It’s like the cosmic alignment of technical indicators. Historically, this has been the springboard for some of Ethereum’s most glorious recoveries. You know, when the market suddenly stops being the worst.
On November 19, 2025, the European Commission will gather to decide the fate of the “simplification package,” a term so innocuous it could only mask the dismantling of a once-ambitious regulatory framework. According to Commission spokesperson Thomas Regnier, the officials are now “exploring targeted implementation delays,” a phrase as vague as it is damning. No final decision has been made, they say, but the writing is on the wall-or perhaps, more fittingly, on the balance sheets of Silicon Valley. 📜✍️
WhiteBIT’s got a VASP registration in Argentina (congrats, sir!) and is eyeing Brazil like a kid smells cotton candy at a fair. They’re not just expanding-they’re “accelerating” into Latin America, because who doesn’t love a good crypto circus parade? 🐘🚀
Lookonchain reports that three mysterious wallets yanked 4,920 ETH (about $16.25 million) from Tornado Cash, perfectly timed with a 13% weekly price nosedive. Coincidence? Maybe. Suspiciously dramatic? Definitely. 🤔
In a paper thicker than Mr. Wonka’s rulebook, the researchers pored over two years of onchain data. Their verdict? A whopping 25% of Polymarket’s trades involved users buying and selling contracts faster than the BFG changes his socks-often to themselves or their chums. All to puff up those activity metrics like a giant’s ego. 🤡📈
$2,900, the “please don’t fall further” zone.
The exchange’s research department, which probably eats spreadsheets for breakfast, insists the market has flushed out leverage like a wizard scrubbing gnomes. “Fundamentals remain intact,” they claim, while the rest of us are still trying to find the “fundamentals” section in the dictionary. Meanwhile, institutional players are sneaky as a cat burglar, rotating back in like they’ve got a private elevator to the crypto vault. 🕵️♂️
Ever since Ethereum’s fabled Merge update in 2022, the network has been graced with a deflationary model that has steadily reduced the supply of Ether (ETH), thus making it more scarce, and we all know what scarcity means-more value and more confident investors!
