Despite the global financial spa day of liquidity infusion, Bitcoin has decided to act like a bemused cat-decoupled from the money supply’s ongoing dance since mid-2025. This raises a stern eyebrow and prompts a series of very important questions: When will Bitcoin finally decide to join the liquidity party? Or is it just playing hard to get? 🎩🐱
Crypto analyst Crypto Patel, the market’s very own fortune teller, announced that Bitcoin has gracefully danced to the tune we all laid out. It filled the Fair Value Gap (FVG) and gave Bearish Order Block a cheeky high-five. According to Patel, savvy traders who dodged the $81,000-$85,000 landmine and braced for an upswing likely found themselves with a “clean” and “predictable” setup. Well, isn’t that just fab?
For the uninitiated, a “wrench attack” is not some avant-garde plumbing technique but rather a brutish affair where crypto holders are abducted, tortured, and coerced into surrendering their precious digital treasures. Why bother hacking blockchain when you can just hack kneecaps? Efficiency, darling! 💼🔧
Recent data from Glassnode indicates that new investors are experiencing losses at a remarkably high rate. While long-term Bitcoin holders don’t seem concerned, short-term traders—who usually drive price swings—are currently operating at a loss.
So, picture this: Binance, the crypto exchange that’s basically the Beyoncé of blockchain, just signed a fancy piece of paper (a.k.a. a memorandum of understanding) with Ho Chi Minh City’s Department of Finance. 🖋️✨ Why? To turn Vietnam into the next big thing in digital assets, of course! Because who needs beaches and pho when you can have blockchain dominance? 🏖️→⛓️
The breach, coinciding with Dunamu’s audacious $10.3 billion merger with Naver, has left both firms teetering on a regulatory tightrope. One might think a hot wallet is meant to keep assets warm, not serve as a North Korean buffet. 🕵️♂️
Starting January 1, 2025, if you’re trading Bitcoin or other fancy cryptos on Thailand’s approved exchanges, you won’t owe a single baht in personal income tax – not one! But beware, oh daring trader! The moment you venture onto unlicensed sticky-fingered foreign platforms or do your crypto digging elsewhere, the tax goblins come knocking. It’s like a game of hide and seek, but with Uncle Sam’s tax man dressed up as a Thai unicorn. 🦄💰
On Nov. 27, Binance decided, ‘Hey, what’s a fire? Let’s throw some crypto at the problem!’ They announced they’ll be handing over HK$10 million (about $1.3 million, because apparently, even disasters need big numbers) to the brave relief squads fighting the flames after the Wang Fuk Court inferno in Tai Po. The funds will apparently reach the folks who lost everything – as long as the channels don’t get lost in the chaos, fingers crossed.
Yes, the coin held above $88,500-barely, like a dissident holding breath under interrogation. From this trembling floor, it scraped together the strength to rise, breaching $90,000 as if storming a capitalist Bastille. For a moment-$91,878-it dared to dream. Then came the correction. Not a crash, no-that would imply dignity. This was a stumble, a cough, the wince of a man who’s just realized his parachute is made of memes. 🪂💀
Their relentless liquidation, it seems, has quite overshadowed the earnest efforts of institutional suitors, such as ETFs and the ever-ambitious MicroStrategy. In a discourse with Upbit’s Upbitcare, Mr. Ju offers a most illuminating, data-driven gaze into this shifting landscape, where fortunes are made and lost with the whims of these financial leviathans. 📊🤷♂️
