In the daily timeframe, our dear Bitcoin is riding a downward escalator to the land of lower highs and lower lows. Volume spikes like a barista on a caffeine binge, yet the asset flirts with the $80,537-$85,000 level, teasing a short-term bottom. Resistance at $95,000-$100,000 looms like a grumpy troll under a bridge, daring anyone to cross. Optimism? More like counter-trend daydreaming. 🌉😴
The outflows were so dramatic that they made the record books. The third-largest in history, only trailing behind last year’s tariffs-induced panic and the 2018 market meltdown-because apparently, nothing says “fun” like watching your investments evaporate faster than pennies in a fountain. Yet, just when you think it’s all doom and gloom, there’s a tiny whisper-a faint glimmer of a turnaround-probably just the market’s version of a sarcastic smirk.
Feast your eyes on the weekly chart-$PEPE looks about as promising as a flat tire in a thunderstorm. The horizontal support at $0.00000530? Gone, poof! Like my hopes every time I check the markets. Now, it’s resting precariously at $0.00000432-barely hanging on by a thread. One more sneeze, and it’s off to the last fortress at $0.00000157, where even the most optimistic trader would throw in the towel and a few keyboard punches. 🤧🧻
Apparently, someone whispered “bull market” in Bitcoin’s ear, and the whole gang decided to join the party. Fresh momentum? More like a caffeine-fueled sprint after a month of snoozing. Let’s just hope it doesn’t crash into the sofa again by tomorrow. 🛋️💥
So, picture this: Bitcoin and MicroStrategy are minding their own business, and then-BAM!-they take a header. No warning, no note, just pure chaos. 🌀 Traders were left scratching their heads until Crypto Banter’s Ran Neuner dropped a bombshell: “Hey, maybe it’s because MicroStrategy’s getting the boot from MSCI or NASDAQ?” 🤔
Industry insiders in South Korea have been whispering to one another – with a side of iced coffee – that the FIU is gearing up to unleash some brutal magic on the likes of Korbit, Gopax, Bithumb, and Coinone. Why? Because they had the audacity to follow in the footsteps of Dunamu, who, like a hapless chocolate teapot, managed to melt under the intense scrutiny of a 35.2 billion KRW fine (a neat sum, indeed).
The FIU has adopted what can be summarized as a regrettably straightforward modus operandi; first inspected, first punished. The chronology places Dr. Dunamu at the top of the disciplinary list, given its August precursor inspection – naturally resulting in the fast-tracked announcements of the penalties. The others, inspected in the ushering months of bureaucratic normalcy, now find their cases meandering through legal review. 🕒
Madam Bithumb, although tempted to be shooed down with abandon, might just have an extra edge of scrutiny befitting her order-book operations, which hints at a postponement in her timely reckoning within this beefy sequence. 😜
Next week, the economic calendar is as packed as a Black Friday sale, but with fewer bargains. On Tuesday, the PPI inflation data drops, because nothing says “fun” like watching numbers fluctuate. Wednesday brings Initial Jobless Claims and the PCE inflation report-aka the “Will the Fed Finally Chill Out?” index. The stock market takes a turkey nap on Thursday for Thanksgiving 🦃, and Friday? Well, it’s basically a half-day for people who’ve already checked out mentally. Buckle up, folks-it’s going to be a wild ride into the end of the year. 🎢
After a spell of what can only be described as “disastrous,” Solana has decided to make a move. Climbing above $125 was its first step in what can only be called an “attempt” at recovery, much like how a person tries to stand after slipping on a banana peel. It’s shaky, but there’s hope!
This weekend, Eric Trump made a statement that could only be described as bold-if not wildly optimistic. In the midst of a never-ending crypto winter, he took to the airwaves to announce that the Bitcoin ($BTC) slump is actually the perfect opportunity to “buy the dip.” I mean, who wouldn’t trust a guy with so much experience… in everything, right? 😏
