Cryptonews

Industry insiders in South Korea have been whispering to one another – with a side of iced coffee – that the FIU is gearing up to unleash some brutal magic on the likes of Korbit, Gopax, Bithumb, and Coinone. Why? Because they had the audacity to follow in the footsteps of Dunamu, who, like a hapless chocolate teapot, managed to melt under the intense scrutiny of a 35.2 billion KRW fine (a neat sum, indeed).

The FIU has adopted what can be summarized as a regrettably straightforward modus operandi; first inspected, first punished. The chronology places Dr. Dunamu at the top of the disciplinary list, given its August precursor inspection – naturally resulting in the fast-tracked announcements of the penalties. The others, inspected in the ushering months of bureaucratic normalcy, now find their cases meandering through legal review. 🕒

Madam Bithumb, although tempted to be shooed down with abandon, might just have an extra edge of scrutiny befitting her order-book operations, which hints at a postponement in her timely reckoning within this beefy sequence. 😜

Next week, the economic calendar is as packed as a Black Friday sale, but with fewer bargains. On Tuesday, the PPI inflation data drops, because nothing says “fun” like watching numbers fluctuate. Wednesday brings Initial Jobless Claims and the PCE inflation report-aka the “Will the Fed Finally Chill Out?” index. The stock market takes a turkey nap on Thursday for Thanksgiving 🦃, and Friday? Well, it’s basically a half-day for people who’ve already checked out mentally. Buckle up, folks-it’s going to be a wild ride into the end of the year. 🎢

After a spell of what can only be described as “disastrous,” Solana has decided to make a move. Climbing above $125 was its first step in what can only be called an “attempt” at recovery, much like how a person tries to stand after slipping on a banana peel. It’s shaky, but there’s hope!

This weekend, Eric Trump made a statement that could only be described as bold-if not wildly optimistic. In the midst of a never-ending crypto winter, he took to the airwaves to announce that the Bitcoin ($BTC) slump is actually the perfect opportunity to “buy the dip.” I mean, who wouldn’t trust a guy with so much experience… in everything, right? 😏

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There could scarcely be a more talked-about topic at the present moment than the rising mania for cryptocurrency as a holiday gift-replacing the humble gift voucher much like Mr. Darcy replaced every other suitor in Elizabeth’s affections (though, admittedly, with less dialogue and far more blockchain). 💌 The esteemed firm of PayPal, in league with the National Cryptocurrency Association (a society newly formed and yet to be invited to any reputable ball), has at last produced findings that send a shiver down the spine of every traditional retailer in Christendom.

Imagine holding 1.1 million Bitcoin, watching it go from $138 billion to $96 billion. That’s like losing your kid’s college fund, your house, and your dignity all at once. Now you’re not even in the top 20 richest people. Bill Gates is laughing so hard he’s spilling his Windows 95 keychain coffee.

Take a good look at the XLM/USD hourly chart, where a downtrend launched itself on November 15 with all the grace of a clumsy elephant. Sellers had a field day, dragging the price down to a pitiful $0.22. But lo and behold! Enter the buyers, like gallant knights, stepping in to slow the slide. And now, what do we see? A modest recovery-just above $0.2365, no less! The bulls are showing some fight, but will they hold the fort? 🤔

The “Rich Dad Poor Dad” author, now sounding like a pirate with a spreadsheet, declared silver the “safest bet” while AI, that sneaky boxy creature, plots to eliminate jobs. “When jobs crash,” he warns, “so do offices and homes. But fret not! If you’re prepared, this crash will make you richer. Probably.”