Prediction markets have been laying out the welcome mat for the Federal Reserve’s Dec. 9-10 meeting. It appears the brainiacs are tipping their hats toward a modest 25-basis-point haircut, even though Fed officials seem to be playing soccer in different stadiums. Polymarket, Kalshi, and CME’s Fedwatch tool have all teetered toward expecting a tiny trim, though each platform seems to have its own style of market nerves.
Coinbase, ever the champion of security (bless their hearts), has announced an urgent internal wallet migration. Yes, both BTC and ETH are involved in this delicate dance. But no, it’s not due to any massive breach or a sudden plunge in market conditions. Nothing dramatic here, folks. Just your standard security upgrade. No big deal.
This drop is significant because HBAR broke below a crucial support level that had protected investors’ profits for more than a month-now a distant memory, like a lover’s promise.
He originally purchased the Bitcoin (BTC) years ago at $6,000 per coin and has booked massive gains on the position. 📈 A “rich dad” who’s suddenly more interested in “surgery centers” than “financial freedom.” 🩺
In the midst of the crypto market’s collective existential crisis, Zcash has been like that one friend who keeps saying, “I’m fine, everything’s fine!” while their life falls apart around them. Zcash is particularly struggling to break through that intimidating wall of $750, a barrier that seems more like a brick fortress at this point. Every time it tries to climb over it, the market pushes it back down like some cruel game of crypto hopscotch. Just last week, Zcash found itself rejected not once, but twice, at the $700 mark. It’s like showing up to a party where everyone’s already too drunk to notice you. Awkward.
The Solana Foundation, in their infinite wisdom, has unleashed SIMD-0411 upon the world. The goal? To turbocharge the disinflation rate of Solana (SOL) by 2x. That’s right, from -15% to -30%. And not just that-it’s going to slash the inflation rate from 4.18% to 1.5% in just 3 years. Because who needs 6 years when you can do it in half the time? 🕒 Oh, and did we mention this won’t mess with staking rewards? It’s like magic, but with spreadsheets. ✨
Ether, bless its little heart, has staggered into a rather important area – somewhere between 1,820 and 2,620, if you’re keeping track. It seems to coincide with a Fibonacci thingummy, which everyone is terribly excited about. 🙄
On Friday, Bitcoin ETFs clawed back $238.4 million, a paltry sum compared to Thursday’s $903 million hemorrhage, but enough to make BlackRock’s IBIT gloat like a toddler with a lollipop. Smaller players like BITB and ARKB contributed their pittance, while GBTC, long the poster child for institutional failure, managed $61.5 million-a miracle akin to snow in the Sahara. ❄️
There are some most notable movers among the larger-cap alts, including WLFI and BCH, which have rocketed by double digits, while ZEC, that most unfortunate of coins, has headed in the opposite direction, much to the dismay of its holders. 📉
The broader cryptocurrency market has endured a month so dire, one might think it penned by Gogol himself! Double-digit declines have swept through like a plague, and XRP, alas, has not been spared. In the past week alone, its price plummeted more than 15%, briefly dipping below $1.90-a fall so dramatic, it could rival the antics of Akaky Akakievich’s overcoat. 🧥💸
