The sage of X, with his 2.8 million disciples hanging on every word, proclaims: “I shall not part with my Bitcoin or Gold!” 🌟 Even as the market plunges into the abyss, he stands firm, a beacon of stubborn optimism in a sea of despair. His faith, one might say, is as unshakable as a Moscow winter.
In a press release on Friday, November 14, Bitmine announced Chi Tsang as the company’s new chief executive officer and a member of the board of directors, effective immediately. Tsang, founder of venture firm m1720, will be replacing Jonathan Bates, who has been CEO since 2022. One can only assume Bates was gently nudged into the sunset, or perhaps he simply forgot to renew his “I’m a CEO” license. 🧠
In this grand theater of 2025, three protagonists command the stage: Filecoin (FIL), Toncoin (TON), and Hedera (HBAR). They solve problems with the elegance of a Chekhovian subplot-storage! payments! tokenization!-while trading at prices so modest, they’d blush to attend their own debutante ball.
Crypto markets might look calmer after October’s leverage wipeout, but under the surface, liquidity remains absent. Let’s just say it’s not looking good – like a dating profile photo from 2015. 😬
In a press release that was probably not what Nevin Shetty hoped to hear, the US Attorney’s Office for the Western District of Washington confirmed that the ex-CFO was convicted for wire fraud after taking a hefty sum from his employer. The man, who hailed from the well-to-do Mercer Island, Washington, was working as the CFO of a private software company in March 2021 when he took the company’s cash and decided to try his luck in the world of cryptocurrencies.
Ah, the notorious pig-butchering scam-once the realm of simple swindles, now it’s a matter of national security! Yes, you read that right. The criminals are no longer hiding behind their greasy pig-sty deals; they’re coming for the country’s security! What a time to be alive.
The whispers of doubt have grown to a cacophony, dear reader, as investors once enamored of AI’s promises now clutch their pearls at the prospect of overvaluation. The very mention of “AI” sends tremors through the market, causing Bitcoin to plummet faster than a poorly worded marriage proposal. 🚨 Even the resolution of the U.S. government shutdown, that most thrilling of political dramas, fails to soothe nerves. All eyes are fixed eastward, where China’s Deepseek has outshone Silicon Valley’s glittering but hollow promises. One might say the Emperor has no ROI.
But fear not, because Cathie Wood’s ARK Invest is here to prove that while most people run for cover, they decide to buy everything sinfully possible. Think of it as the “buy-the-dip” version of bank robbing, but with more spreadsheets and fewer masks. 🦸♀️🧾
The spectral whispers of digital correspondence, freshly exhumed from Epstein’s digital crypt, reveal a sordid ballet of cash and code. The Massachusetts Institute of Technology’s Digital Currency Initiative-ostensibly a temple of innovation-was, in fact, a gilded puppet show funded by Epstein’s illicit alchemy. One might call it the Laureate of Lunacy.
Why the sudden nosedive? Investors are losing faith faster than a politician at a fact-checking convention that the Federal Reserve will slash interest rates at their next meeting. And this is sending both stocks and crypto markets into a tailspin. Talk about a mood killer. 😩📉