Indeed, my dear readers, Digital Wealth Partners, a registered investment advisory firm focused on the modern marvels of digital assets, has graciously unfurled an algorithmic trading strategy for XRP, which, as previously mentioned, can now find residence within the esteemed confines of qualified retirement accounts, including IRAs. What a progressive step forward!
So, Polygon’s PoS network had a little “technical hiccup” this week, which is tech speak for “we messed up but don’t want to admit it.” Some nodes got stage fright, causing delays for users, but the blockchain stayed online because it’s a professional, unlike me when I miss a deadline. 📉🤡
In the labyrinth of ledgers, WLFI plots its course, a stablecoin odyssey to conquer the $3 billion TVL summit in mere six moons. 🌕 Yet, the heart of this tale beats not in numbers, but in the whispered promises of governance and growth. The $WLFI token, a silent sentinel, awaits its hour of glory, as USD1 pirouettes across platforms, a prima donna of the crypto ballet.
The Depository Trust & Clearing Corporation (DTCC) has partnered with Digital Asset and the Canton Network. Because nothing says “trust” like handing over $10 trillion in bonds to a blockchain startup 🚀.
Per the ever-reliable (or so they claim) crypto.news, Bitcoin briefly flirted with $90,165 on Wednesday-only to slink back to $86,612, like a guilty husband returning home at dawn. It remains a pitiful 31.3% below its October peak, a fall from grace worthy of a Gogolian morality tale. And why? Because the market, dear reader, is a merciless beast, devouring leveraged traders with the same relish as a starving man attacking a bowl of borscht. 🥄
In a recent post on X-where all the cool kids hang out-Lookonchain has revealed that BitMine has scooped up a whopping 48,049 ETH from a rather hot wallet associated with FalconX, the digital treasure trove for institutional trading. It’s a bit like finding a forgotten fiver in your old coat pocket, only much, much larger.
Solana, once a bastion of hope, has faltered, mirroring the fates of Bitcoin and Ethereum. It slipped below the $130 and $128 supports, as if gravity itself conspired against it.
Take heed of this jest: Solana flaunts post-quantum bravado on the testnet, as if brandishing digital cutlasses. Ethereum too drafts its map towards this quantum fortress. Academics shake their heads – “We must prepare!” they insist.
Aligning with the dictates written in stone-or should I say in legal prose-in their 2020 federal law on digital financial assets, crypto is graciously described as something that doesn’t quite resemble Russia’s esteemed monetary unit. Making any payments with anything but rubles would simply be un-Russified, akin to a stoic Teutonic bearing a smirk. Tokens and those classic cryptocurrencies might be discussed over a dram of vodka, but only as property or investments.
They speak of a magnificent ‘transition’. From the hands of the impulsive retail investor – us, the common folk, prone to fits of irrational exuberance – to the steady, calculating grip of the institutions. Asset managers! Advisory platforms! Long-term capital pools! As if these entities are not themselves driven by the same base desires: profit, power, the avoidance of oblivion. They claim these grand players will no longer view Bitcoin as a passing fancy, but as a… component. A component! As if our digital gold is merely a widget in a larger, predetermined machine. This, they believe, will replace the frenzy of short-term trades with… ‘measured, strategic allocations’. How delightfully clinical.
