Cryptonews

Oh, the venerable Bitcoin, that paragon of digital virtue, has taken a tumble to a two-week low, while our old friend Michael Saylor, ever the eccentric, has once again graced us with his famed “Orange Dots”-a spectacle that has sent shivers down the spines of even the most stoic investors. 🍊📉

They listed this beauty on the London Stock Exchange’s International Securities Market-where everyone pretends to be sophisticated-and it settled same day via Euroclear’s permissioned DLT. It’s like digital bonds went to a private club. Very exclusive, very fancy.

On what can only be described as a romantically charged Dec. 12 (why not Valentine’s Day, honestly?), Bitnomial Inc., Chicago’s most unexpectedly glamorous fintech export, announced that its clearing arm got the CFTC’s big “yes.” 🥹 That means Bitnomial Clearinghouse LLC now legally-and fully-clears fully collateralized swaps. Say that five times fast after a glass of Pinot, I dare you.

Apparently, Bitcoin doesn’t seem to get chummy with all the usual suspects in the financial world, which is considered a plus. And Brazilian investors have been having a bit of a devilish time with their currency lately, so a dash of something a little… different… might offer a spot of relief. Rather brilliantly, Itaú went and set up a dedicated crypto division in September 2025, staffed by a chap named João Marco Braga da Cunha – a name which, frankly, sounds like a cocktail, not a banker. He’s tasked with helping clients navigate this brave new world of regulated crypto frippery.

According to Arab Chain’s QuickTake post, the XRP Ledger’s Exchange Reserve metric-a bureaucratic ledger of crypto’s soul-reveals Binance’s XRP hoard has shriveled to a meager 2.6 billion tokens. This isn’t just a number; it’s a Shakespearean tragedy where tokens flee centralized exchanges like refugees from a dystopian financial puppet show. 🤡

Currently, Bitcoin is languishing below the Bollinger Bands mid-line. Around $90,500, if you insist on such precise measurements of folly. A detail, you might say? Ha! A detail is a misplaced comma. This, my friends, is a subtle shift in the cosmos. A quiet whimpering before the storm… or perhaps just a long nap. 🤷‍♀️

But beneath the stillness, something stirs. Like roots pushing through dry earth, signals whisper of life. Momentum shifts, slow as a tortoise but steady. Sellers, once loud, now mumble. Whales, those silent giants, move with purpose in the deep. It’s enough to make a man wonder: are the bulls just napping, or are they sharpening their horns? Even Tom Lee, that old prophet of the charts, hasn’t lost his faith.

On Friday the 12th of December-mark your calendars because this is a day for the financial history books-Reuters spilled the tea that Strategy, ticker symbol MSTR, has survived its first Nasdaq 100 rebalancing. This is no small feat, considering it’s the largest corporate holder of Bitcoin. Yes, you heard that right! If Bitcoin were a high school, Strategy would be the kid that somehow avoids getting shoved into a locker.

On The Wolf Of All Streets Podcast-because who doesn’t love a good wolf-Thielen insisted the cycle’s “still playing out”, but not in the way Bitcoin fans used to fantasize. Gone are the days where halvings dictated all; these days, it’s January’s messy political spectacle and the Fed’s dance moves that take center stage. And honestly, I’d argue the cycle is more like a political soap opera than a predetermined schedule-drama, unpredictability, and a dash of hope that this time, Bitcoin might actually do something interesting.