Cryptonews

Big fish orders are splashing around the $4,000 pond, hinting that the suits are dipping their toes back into the ETH waters. Suits and crypto-what a combo! 👔💰

MicroStrategy (MSTR), the largest corporate holder of bitcoin and long seen as a leveraged bet on the crypto, has shed nearly $18 billion in market value as enthusiasm dried up and its net asset value (mNAV) premium collapsed in recent months. If this were a shopping cart full of melons, you’d be picking up the pieces at the curb.

Ah, the corporate digital asset activity-muted, like a monk in a library, week over week. The fallout from recent crypto deleveraging has left the market as somber as Raskolnikov after a murder. Yet, B. Riley, ever the optimist, notes that capital flows are normalizing, thanks to the U.S.-China trade talks. Progress, they say, is a slow dance with the devil. 💃

This development suggests-dare one say-an opportunity, not a threat, for those in the remittance trade who are brave enough to embrace the new and bewildering. Yet, the analysts warn that the progress remains slow, and the dreaded taxes of 2026 threaten to cast a shadow, much like a delicate parasol in a storm-at least from a journalistic perspective.

This particular bug, nestled within XWiki’s templating framework, has bestowed upon miscreants the ability to illicitly mine Monero (XMR), that elusive cryptocurrency that’s as slippery as a greased weasel. A true masterpiece of digital mischief. 🐞

The program’s timing couldn’t be more timeless, really. While the rest of the Web3 world is running about like headless chickens, obsessed with quick exits and lightning-speed deployments, Fortify is playing the long game. Seven carefully chosen projects, no more, no less. Why seven? Because depth is far more fashionable than breadth. And, darling, the TZ APAC team is here for the deep dive-no more cookie-cutter workshops for this select bunch.

With the CPI data as soft as a pillow for the condemned and the Trump-Xi summit looming like a farce in Seoul, the markets, they say, have awoken from their slumber. Bitcoin, that fickle idol, hath reclaimed its throne at $115k, buoyed by ETF inflows and the tears of liquidated shorts. DeFi and AI, those twin sirens of the digital age, lead the charge, while gold, the old guard, retreats in shame. 🏰💸

The Fed’s about to cut rates like it’s a Black Friday sale, and crypto Twitter thinks this’ll magically fix everything. 🎉
Grok (Elon’s digital parrot) says Bitcoin’s headed to $125K, which is “only” 12% from its all-time high. Sure, Jan.
Looking for the best crypto to buy? How about $HYPER, $BEST, and $TROLL? Because why not gamble on coins with names like dating app profiles?

Should this proposal find favor, Germany, once a mere seller of the digital gold, might ascend to the ranks of Europe’s crypto elite, igniting a frenzy of financial strategy across the EU. But is this the dawn of a new era, or merely the whimsy of a party grasping at straws in a sea of economic uncertainty? 🌊🤔