Ripple President Monica Long declared the “future ahead is mighty bright,” which is exactly what you’d expect from someone whose company just spent a quarter of a billion dollars on a business that’s basically a glorified middleman. But hey, at least they’re using XRP now. Because nothing says “trust” like putting your crypto in a broker’s hands.
Government shutdowns. It’s just… it’s a testament to how much we rely on these centralized systems that can just…stop. It makes you wonder, doesn’t it? I mean, blockchain is always on. Always there. It’s like the reliable friend you have who isn’t constantly embroiled in some ridiculous scandal.
According to Bloomberg – that chatty oracle of financial doom – the BOE has been nervously eyeing AI’s astronomical valuations like an aunt at a cocktail party watching her nephew try absinthe for the first time: fascinated, horrified, and already planning an intervention. They fear, bless their tweed-covered hearts, that we might be heading for a rerun of the dot-com fiasco, when dreams were big, logic was optional, and everyone wore cargo pants. 🤦♂️
Yet, the capricious kingdom of Ethereum, ever the ever-changing entity, has somewhat shrunk by 4.50%, flirting with support near the peculiar figure of $3,738. As fate would have it, certain traders have deigned this a splendid opportunity to acquire these shifty currencies. Oh, the chimerical dance of the markets! 🕺
Tether, as they call themselves, are expecting a rather jolly financial year. According to that chap at Bloomberg, their chief boffin Paolo Ardoino, they reckon they’ll be swimming in a colossal $15 billion profit in 2025. That’s more money than some small countries see in a lifetime! 🎉 They’re making a profit margin of 99%! It’s enough to make your eyes water, it is. This automatically makes them top dogs, or so they think.
According to the ever-vigilant chaps at Whale Alert, a cryptocurrency transaction tracker service, a wallet as dormant as a hibernating hedgehog has suddenly sprung to life. The address in question, brimming with 4,000 BTC, made its move on Friday. Egad, what a stir!
This approval represents a major milestone for Bitcoin adoption in Europe. The license puts Relai ahead of major exchanges like Binance and Coinbase, which are still working through the complex approval process. 🕵️♂️📉
Crypto guru Michaël van de Poppe (yes, that’s his real name, and no, he’s not a Dutch pop star) has declared $112K the magic number. “Break it, and we’re off to the races!” he chirps, like a particularly enthusiastic auctioneer. But fail? Oh, dear. We’re looking at a cozy little consolidation or a minor pullback, because nothing says “fun” like sideways trading. 📉
Alas, as is often the case with grandiose ventures, reality intrudes. You see, PADRE had a token, which, it seems, will soon be no more. Yes, you heard that right-its value has rather spectacularly evaporated, leading to a most unfortunate uproar from its loyal community. And of course, accusations of rug-pulling are flying faster than you can say “market manipulation.” 🎭
