From the annals of Bloomberg’s dispatches, we learn that just a few years back, BOE mandarins proclaimed the digital pound a necessity—now, priorities swirl like leaves in a storm. The project idles in its so-called ‘design phase,’ a bureaucratic black hole where ideas go to die slowly, with no end in sight. Truly, a masterpiece of procrastination. 😂
The company claims this is the “first strategic acquisition” under its digital asset treasury initiative, which was made possible by selling shares and debt to the tune of $500 million. We’re not sure what’s more impressive, the amount of money or the fact that they’re using it to buy a cryptocurrency that was started as a joke 🤣.
Lee, the man with a crystal ball 🔮, wagged his finger and said, “Bitcoin’s basically turning into digital Scrooge McDuck money—just wait until the institutions make it rain 💸.” And with the Genius Act (which sounds suspiciously like a rejected Marvel movie title) reshaping regulations, I guess we’re all supposed to nod solemnly and pretend we understand.
The new kid on the block, Tree Graph 3.0, claims to process 15,000 TPS—faster than your bad Wi-Fi. It’s designed to handle AI calls and simplify settling real-world stuff—houses, cars, maybe even that vintage bicycle you love. These upgrades? Not just shiny toys—they’re aiming to turn Conflux into the go-to cross-border money mover, especially where Belt and Road enthusiasts want to pay with crypto—because why not make it complicated and fun? 😏
Apparently, the technicals are “excellent.” All the EMAs are aligned like a particularly enthusiastic yoga class. They’ve “overcome significant resistance zones.” Which, I’m assuming, means it bullied them. Good for it. 💪 And there’s a strong support zone… basically, a safety net for when it inevitably trips.
Just when you thought the plot couldn’t get any juicier, several major financial institutions, in a moment of unity reminiscent of a school play gone wrong, penned a joint-letter on July 17th. The American Bankers Association, America’s Credit Unions, the Consumer Bankers Association, the Independent Community Bankers of America, and the National Bankers Association 🏦 demanded the Office of the Comptroller of the Currency (OCC) to hit the brakes on Ripple’s application for a federally regulated national trust bank.
In a plot twist that even the best comedy writers couldn’t concoct, analytics firm Glassnode took to X (because plain old Twitter wasn’t confusing enough) to explain how Bitcoin holders are behaving lately with their fancy Accumulation Trend Score. This score figures out if folks are hoarding coins like they’re preparing for the zombie apocalypse or hocking them off like they’re in a yard sale! 🧟♂️💸
Bitcoin [BTC] wallet cohorts, those mysterious entities that hoard digital gold like a miser hoards coins, have re-entered strong accumulation territory, with >10K BTC whales participating at levels not seen since December 2024. 🐋
Experts suggest that the GENIUS Act, while a U.S. law, is poised to set a significant global precedent for stablecoin regulation. They believe its frameworks will heavily influence international standards, effectively making compliance a prerequisite for stablecoin issuers outside the U.S. who wish to maintain interoperability and access to U.S.-linked financial rails, liquidity pools, and payment systems. Because nothing says “global finance” like jumping through hoops. 🤸♂️
The surge, one might say, is propelled by whispers of grandeur: the impending birth of Conflux 3.0 and a stablecoin scheme that’s as stable as a house of cards in a hurricane. Picture this: a new era of cross-border shenanigans, especially with China’s Belt and Road cronies, all under the guise of efficient settlements. How quaint! 😂
